tvDownload’s 2014 Rewind: The ‘Worsties’ in Television

Worst On-Screen Chemistry:

Nominees:

Will McAvoy and Mackenzie McHale on The Newsroom

Colin Jost and Michael Che on SNL: Weekend Update

Carrie Matheson and Aayan, Homeland

Bill Masters and Virginia on Masters of Sex

Annalise and Sam Keating, HTGAWM

Jessica and Hoyt from True Blood

Winner: Colin Jost and Michael Che on Weekend Update. These two look so uncomfortable sharing Update co-host duties, it's like watching that Good Morning St. Louis sketch sketch all over again.
Worst at their Job:

Nominees

Olivia Pope from Scandal

Bill Oswalt, Fargo

President Fitz from Scandal

Ed, Parks and Recreation

Pornstache, Orange is the new Black

Winner: Tie between Olivia and Fitz. They make each other terrible at their jobs, and since one of those jobs is running the free nation, they've got to get a room already. Or wait, another room. Fine, ANOTHER room!
Worst Misuse of Badge

Nominees :

Officer Dawn (and all the other cops in the hospital) on The Walking Dead

Kevin Garvey from The Leftovers

Sheriff Nucky Thompson, Boardwalk Empire Laura Diamond, Mysteries of Laura

Big Jim Remmie, Under the Dome

Everybody in Gotham and Peaky Blinders

Scully and Hitchcock from Brooklyn-Nine-Nine 

Winner: Kevin "Crazy Bagels" Garvey? Oh, you mean our insane sheriff who has a family history of severe mental problems, hallucinates constantly, shoots dogs and kidnaps people on the regs? Yeah...that guy. Fine cop, though.
Worst Boss:

Nominees

Joe MacMillan, Halt and Catch Fire

Jim Cutler, Mad Men

Selina Meyers, Veep

Frank Underwood,House of Cards

Paulie G from The Comeback

Elsa Mars, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Lucas Pruit on The Newsroom

Natalie Figueroa, Orange is the New Black

Pope & Associates, Scandal

The Winner: Paulie G. on The Comeback. Paulie was always the antagonist on the first season of The Comeback, where he played the dickish writer of Room & Bored. Now that he's cleaned up his act and gone "prestige" on HBO, however, Paulie is even more of a monster than we remembered: he forces Valerie to act in degradingly sexual scenes, while portraying her as a literal monster that is killing his inner child and forcing him back into his heroin addiction. No offense, Paulie, but maybe if Valerie bothers you so much, it's because audiences respond better to her work than yours.
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Worst Friend

The Nominees:

Ali, Transparent

Polly, Orange is the New Black

Jessa from Girls

Louie from Louie

Mickey Doyle from Boardwalk Empire

Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal

Bojack Horseman, Bojack Horseman

Schmidt, New Girl

Coach, New Girl

The Winner: Uh, Hannibal by a landslide made out of human entrails. With friends like the good doctor, who needs enemies who are also murderous psychotics?
Worst Family:

Nominees

The Lannisters, Game of Thrones

The Gallaghers, Shameless

The Harts, True Detective

The Solloways, The Affair

The Jennings, The Americans

The Popes, Scandal

The Winner: The Lannisters. Sorry if that's obvious, but come on. Between the incest and the trial of Tyrion and the incest that bordered on rape and the sadistic little king Geoffery, that bloodline is as evil as it is blond.
Worst Partner (Romantic)

Nominees:

Noah Solloway from The Affair

Peter Pan, Peter Pan

Shaye, Game of Thrones

Lester Nygaard, Fargo

Tom Keane, The Blacklist

Littlefinger, Game of Thrones

Doctor John Thackery, The Knick

Winner: Uh yeah, we're going with the weirdly pretty manchild who promises you all the adventures in the world...until you turn like, 30, in which case he's just going to abscond with your daughter. See ya!
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Worst Partner (Platonic)

Nominees:

Harvey Bullock, Gotham

The Hound, Game of Thrones

Rust Cohle, True Detective

Gordon Clarke, Halt and Catch Fire

Vee, Orange is the New Black

Erlich Bachmann, Silicon Valley

Winner: Vee, the drug dealing den mother from Orange is the New Black. Not only did she get her business partner and foster son/boyfriend(?) killed to save her turf, but she proved Red's trust in her was misplaced, time and time again. This woman was scary because she knew exactly how to play everyone at Litchfield Penitentiary into doing exactly what she wanted.
Worst Refrain/Catchphrase:

Nominees:

"I don’t want to see that!"--The Comeback

"Time is a flat circle," True Detective

"Hello, ladies," Stuart Hello Ladies

Stand in the sun/white hat speech on Scandal

Any mention of shooting stars on How to Get Away With Murder

"Sooooookie!", True Blood

Winner:

True Detective. This was the year that flat circle shit got really overplayed.
Worst Displays of Affection:

Nominees:

Ginsberg cutting off his nipple and giving it to Peggy, Mad Men

Josh proposing with a Holocaust ring,Transparent

Sam Keating's dick pic, HTGAWM

Quinn's Krav Maga'ing  of those diner dudes for his lady's honor, Homeland

How I Met Your Mother Finale

Winner: How I Met Your Mother finale. (Good choice, Vinnie.) "Sorry kids, your mom's dead so maybe...do you think I should bang the woman you call your aunt? You do?! Well, let's hop to it!"

(Thanks to contributions from Maggie Serota, Vincent Mancuso, Jordyn Taylor, Sean T. Collins,  Carrie Nelson, Molly Mulshine, Noam Cohen,Ricky Camilleri.)

As the Internet starts coming out with its various Best Ofs and Roundups for this year of our lord and savior, Hannibal Lecter, tvDownload has decided to go a different route: the Worsties of 2014.

Sure, we have had a great year for emerging content that defies categorizations like “TV”: Transparent on Amazon, Vimeo’s High Maintenance, and the continuation of Netflix’s Orange is the New Black and House of Cards. We’re not trying to take away anything from TV’s Golden Age (Redux). But with the death of Walter White leading to the rise of AnnoyingHeroes, not all prestige TV is created equal. Sometimes, you just want to celebrate the worst of what’s good. From the lack of chemistry of Will McAvoy and Mackenzie McHale on The Newsroom to the sheer incompetence of the detectives on Gotham and Fargo, here are our official selections (and personal choices) of the TV’s Worsties.

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