If you feel left out of the whole Twin Peaks phenomenon, we’re here to help! Every week, associate tvDownload editor Vinnie Mancuso attempts to figure out what the hell is going on in this town, while senior editor/Twin Peaks expert Drew Grant answers his questions. This week: ‘The Man Behind Glass.’
Can everyone do me a favor? Quickly go here and let that video play on a loop for the entirety of the time you’re reading this. Because if ‘The Man Behind Glass’ proved anything, it’s that everything is funnier when James’ Song randomly starts to play in the background.
And, oh, James. I know a lot happened in this episode but all I really want to talk about is the James, Donna, Maddy triangle because it provided me with so, so much entertainment I could scarcely handle it. Scarcely, I say. Where to even begin? Probably with James’ hilarious line about Donna: “She’s trying to act all tough all of a sudden.” I love that everyone is just as flabbergasted as I am that Donna suddenly thought she was cool for like an episode. But Maddy is there to comfort him with a diner hand-touch. I must reiterate, James’ shitty song is playing in the background this whole time. Donna sees the hand touching and gets so mad that she goes and screams at Laura’s gravestone for a while. “This isn’t something I feel like I have to explain to you,” Donna says of her relationship with James. Lol, yes it is.
Anyway, James is all distraught because he can’t find Donna, but honestly Twin Peaks doesn’t seem that big and I feel like he didn’t look that hard. He’s also upset because his alcoholic mother is back, but that’s not very clear because he just sort of mentions it. Maddy kisses James and, again, this is all to the sultry sounds of James’ song. Donna, who really needs to work on her timing, walks in just as James and Maddy are having a moment and she storms off. James runs after her and, people, I wish I could put into words the way he sounds when he screams “DONNA! WHY?!” God, if you don’t have Netflix I’d suggest you subscribe strictly for those 4 seconds of television. I can only compare it to, like, a particularly heart-broken pterodactyl. This show, man. What is even happening?
I guess I have to talk about all the other not James-centric, less hilarious stuff that happened. The One-Armed Man is back, and he seems to be in good health and acting totally normal.
Or not. He goes ballistic after seeing a picture of BOB, and tries to inject himself with something in a bathroom stall. Been there, man. He ends up leaving the stall all creepy-like, and says “I’m after you now.” I don’t know what’s happening! But apparently Cooper does. He notices the One Armed Man’s syringe lying on the floor. “Without chemicals, he points.” Well duh, it’s just like the giant said! Am I even typing in English anymore?
Speaking of BOB, Leland is apparently boys with BOB from back in the day. Well, not boys, more like BOB was the creepy guy down at the family lake house who would flick matches at little kids and say shit like “You want to play with fire, little boy?” Every lake house has at least one of those guys. Fact.
Meanwhile, Audrey was apparently cast in a Hostel movie, where she gets tied up and a vaguely foreign man feeds her chocolate and someone films it? And also that vaguely foreign man is Jaques Renault’s brother, and he wants to kill Cooper? And he’s working with Blackie O’Reilly to both get to Cooper and extort Ben Horne? And this show didn’t need another convoluted story line, but it just got one?
Yeesh. Somewhere in the middle of all this Nadine turns into the Incredible One-Eyed Hulk and busts out of some chains, then thinks she’s 18 years old again. Not really much else to report there.
Cooper and Truman show up at the Palmer household to arrest Leland for the murder of Jaques Renault. This whole thing bothers me because they only found out what happened because Doctor Jacoby had some sort of vision. Come on, Twin Peaks. Not every conflict can be solved because someone had a vision. Can’t anyone do any actual, non-metaphysical detective work?
Finally Donna, upset because she saw James kiss Maddy and because she can’t get James’ song out of her head, rushes off to the home of Harry Smith. Oh, yeah, Harry Smith is like this weird shut-in horticulturist that Laura brought food to and was probably also having sex with because there aren’t many people in Twin Peaks Laura wasn’t having sex with. Whatever. All that matters is, he has Laura’s super secret diary, which most likely contains secrets, of some kind. And there is only *checks Netflix* 19…dear God…19 more episodes left to figure out those secrets. Sigh.
I think I have some questions. You can turn off James’ Song now. Or not.
First off, WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS ASSHOLE?
AH! That is like….the kerchief guy! He’s always dressed like Fred from Scooby-Doo! No, I’m not just using context clues, that’s literally all there is to say about…this dude? Dick Tremayne!
Dick Tremayne’s name says it all, basically. He’s going to be Andy’s foil for the rest of the forseeable future, so strap on your ascots and keep your boy shorts buckled!
Are you telling me that Lucy was sleeping around on Sheriff Andy, getting pregnant with some dandy from Horne’s department store’s baby?? I don’t think I know what true love is anymore.
Please listen to this song about him before you judge!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl3DE8lG-Cs]
Pretty general question, but do they ever, like, solve Laura Palmer’s murder? Just wondering.
Come back next week and ask me that.
Hey, whatever happened to Mike? Not one-armed Mike, horrible haircut Mike?
Oh, he’s around. Look out for him in the upcoming Nadine plot-line, but probably not for awhile because hey, there’s like a billion other plot lines we need to pay attention to….not ending this sentence on a preposition, so there.
