We’re going to change it up this week! Because if Gotham can’t get its shit together, neither will I! Today, this is not a Gotham reference guide. This is a “that doesn’t make any sense” guide, in which I point out everything on this installment of Gotham that didn’t make any sense. Which was everything! Has Gotham driven me insane? Maybe! Haha!
Here we go:
- At the end of last week’s episode, the Ogre revealed to Barbara that he has a secret room filled with instruments of torture — and not even sexy torture. Like, Ramsay Bolton, flay you alive torture — and it gets her juices flowing so hard that they immediately have a marathon sex session that lasts so long they only sleep an hour before the Ogre wakes up and makes quiche. But when he says “hey, I’m crazy. I kill people in that room” Barbara is like whaaaaaat. That doesn’t make any sense, Gotham!
- You have angel-come-to-Earth Morena Baccarin in your cast, and you force her to say lines like, “Do you blame yourself for falling out of love?” That doesn’t make any sense, Gotham!
- So Harvey arrests the barman from the Fox Glove brothel, because he was bragging he knew the identity of the Ogre. So, was the Ogre walking into the brothel yelling “I’M THE OGRE, I’M THE OGRE?” He had to have been, because this bartender knew who he was. If not, then simply from watching him this bartender gleaned that Jason Lennon was in fact a serial killer. Something that, I remind you, the police force COULD NOT and WOULD DARE NOT EVEN TRY for years. Years! Hire Jake the JV Pimp, he is a better detective than all of you. And that doesn’t make any sense, Gotham!
- Jim is a white knight, with a spotless record and a mission to clean up the GCPD, but by the books. Except when, um, he’s really frustrated. Then it’s fine to beat the shit out of suspects and agree to murder someone before you even arrest them. And we’re supposed to still…root…for him? I think? That doesn’t make any sense, Gotham!
- Edward Nygma is supposed to be this super genius, and we’re supposed to believe he is Walter White-ing this dead body IN THE POLICE STATION? And I get that the whole point of the Riddler is that he can’t help himself, he just needs to leave those clues behind to prove he’s the smartest. That’s the character. That’s cool. Whatever. But there is pretty much zero reason he is taunting the one person he likes with a riddle-letter. None of that makes any sense, Gotham!
- I HEARD A THUMPING NOISE. I HEARD A CAR HORN. WE ARE DETECTIVES.
- So Selina Kyle murdered a person — I repeat, a 14 year old girl committed murder — just so that this dastardly Bunderslaw guy wouldn’t find out Bruce was investigating him. But then Bunderslaw finds out anyway, and he’s like “naaaah Bruce, I’m actually pretty cool with everything.” You killed a man for no reason, Gotham!
- Did I fall asleep and miss when Barbara went from normal levels of terrified to a catatonic crazy person who sells out her own parents to save her life and watches blankly as they’re butchered? Who am I supposed to root for in this show? Jim, the not-so-incorruptible cop? Leslie Thompkins, the “go get’em tiger” girlfriend? Barbara? BARBARA? Should I forget that when the Ogre asked her who he should kill, her first answer was her parents? That….okay I think you get it.
If Gotham returned next season re-tooled as Harvey & Oswald, and centered on Bullock and the Penguin sharing an apartment together, making no mention of the events of this season, that would probably be for the best. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
As always, let’s run down every reference, fact, and nugget of Bat-history brought up in episode twenty-one,”The Anvil or the Hammer.”
Lucius Fox grows up to have basically the most thankless job in the entire DC Comics Universe. While Bruce Wayne pretends to run Wayne Enterprises but actually spends most of his time in a Bat costume, Lucius actually takes care of the majority of Wayne Enterprise’s day-to-day activity. While this job includes funding all of Batman’s expensive and not always useful gadgets, it’s never outright said that he knows what Bruce Wayne does at night. But, like, come on guy.
If you don’t know the name, you probably at least know the character was played by Morgan Freeman in the Christopher Nolan movies. And if you look really closely…closer…closer….you will notice that the picture up there is not in fact Morgan Freeman. Reference Guide.
“Notorious Hitman Tommy Bones Released Today,” by Seth Boston.
Yeah, I don’t know who the hell Tommy Bones is, but I do know he’s really, really dumb for shooting a guy in the head and taking part in a broad daylight gun battle the first week he’s released from prison.
What I DO know is that Seth Boston is a busy dude, working as both a staff writer for the Gotham Gazette and a writer’s assistant for Gotham.
The Fox Glove
Foxglove, AKA Donna Cavanaugh, is a character featured in Neil Gaiman’s landmark series The Sandman, and the spinoff mini: series Death: The High Cost of Living and Death: The Time of Your Life. She looks like this, is a acoustic rock star, and pretty much has nothing to do with Gotham or its late night, diaper-bunny fetish club. I have a feeling someone on the Gotham staff opened up a random book from the DC shelf, pointed to the first name they saw and said “that one.”