The way New Jersey gets Gas


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Written by Joey Novick and Joe Messina

New Jersey state legislators are now discussing a bill that would change the way New Jersey gets its gasoline.

Is it a good idea to end the state’s ban on self-serve fueling stations?

We’ve broken down the pros and cons of doing so—besides not trusting any drivers in the Garden State with flammable liquids.

  • -Never have to speak to anyone
  • -No pressure to tip overzealous attendants who clean your windshield
  • -Fewer pesky employees to inhibit corporate profits
  • -Change of pace would reignite spark of our relationship with New Jersey
  • -Gain empathy for working class by taking their jobs
  • -Pushing buttons can be fun
  • -Have to physically do a thing
  • -Unemployment up 40% in New Jersey
  • -More time spent in New Jersey when driving from Philly to New York
  • -Loss of one of few distinguishing qualities of New Jersey
  • -Automation leads to loss of human jobs and robots taking over the world
  • -Have to see how out of shape Americans really are
The way New Jersey gets Gas