Written by Joey Novick and Joe Messina
New Jersey state legislators are now discussing a bill that would change the way New Jersey gets its gasoline.
Is it a good idea to end the state’s ban on self-serve fueling stations?
We’ve broken down the pros and cons of doing so—besides not trusting any drivers in the Garden State with flammable liquids.
Pros
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-Never have to speak to anyone
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-No pressure to tip overzealous attendants who clean your windshield
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-Fewer pesky employees to inhibit corporate profits
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-Change of pace would reignite spark of our relationship with New Jersey
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-Gain empathy for working class by taking their jobs
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-Pushing buttons can be fun
Cons
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-Have to physically do a thing
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-Unemployment up 40% in New Jersey
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-More time spent in New Jersey when driving from Philly to New York
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-Loss of one of few distinguishing qualities of New Jersey
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-Automation leads to loss of human jobs and robots taking over the world
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-Have to see how out of shape Americans really are
