In gearing up for 3rd season of Showtime’s Ray Donovan, we’re republishing our recaps from last season. To check out all things Donovan-esque, click here.
Only one more episode after this left for the Donovan family to pull it all together so season 3 isn’t a bunch of Connor yelling “You’re not my dad” at Abby’s new BF, Detective Jim. Let’s get to it.
Cookie Brown gets out of his Bentley to wave to fans and the press who line the red carpet at the Rekon/Marvin funeral. Everybody loves Cookie. Avi watches from across the street in his car, keeping an eye on Cookie and reporting to Ray.
Why is Ray standing along the shore looking at the ocean? He’s there to meet Lena and Harriet. The office probably would have been more convenient. Lena still can’t find the video of the murder Cookie claims is out there. There might not be a video at all. You can’t introduce the idea of video and not have a payoff, Lena. So get your hands on it. She’ll keep asking the same guy Ray asked last week. Harriet has some papers for Ray and Abby to sign. Sounds serious because Harriet asks Ray if she needs to close up shop. Nothing is coming back to you, Harriet…if you want to take Ray’s word for it.
Shorty’s in bad shape. He’s running low on oxygen, and it’s the day of the marijuana dispensary heist. Shorty’s in no shape to pull off this job and the tank guy isn’t going to be there in time. No problem, Mickey’s got a new plan. They’ll take the safe onto a truck and then they’ll get Shorty to crack it on the road. Perfect plan, nothing to worry about there.
Abby shows Ray that she found a few joints in a breath mints tin in Conor’s sock drawer. Oh, Conor is always high. That’s why he talks with the emotion of a kid saying the pledge of allegiance.
Those papers Ray signed were for the Ocean front land he was standing on. Ray likes to sign papers at the place they are related to. Divorce papers are going to be filed in the hotel room Ray first had sex with Kate. Ray explains to Abby that she needs to sign the property papers and hold on the property as long as she can, but sell it if she ever needs money. Oh, and Ray’s probably going to prison because Kate is going to rat him out for bringing Sully to LA to kill Mickey. Sounds like a good deal for Abby. She gets some sweet ocean view property and Ray’s gone. Not good enough for Abby. She doesn’t like being bought off by Ray when she can threaten her new boyfriend to do what she wants. Abby’s an independent woman who doesn’t need Ray. She only needs Jim. Ray doesn’t like the idea of Jim taking care of his family. “He can fuck you in my bed for all I care…” “Dad!” Conor’s standing in the doorway. Hi, Conor. Let’s have a father-son talk about the dangers of marijuana.
Turns out that weed came from Mickey. Conor thinks Mickey is the greatest. Grandpa gave Conor a caddy for his birthday and Ray just gave him some clothes he “didn’t even fucking like.” “Watch your fucking mouth.” Hold on, Conor. Ray also gave you a sweet watch and danced to Run DMC with you. Ray tells Conor to grow up, be a man for the family, and stay away from Mick. Conor responds with a very Napoleon Dynamite-esque “Shut up.”
Cochran needs to clean up this Volchek public suicide mess. First thing, Frank Barnes is fired. Congrats, Frank. You get full pension and benefits for life. Now GTFO. Can’t have Frank hanging around because he knows too much.
Time for the “Volchek was depressed and this is a tragedy press” conference. Megan Volcheck is sad since having sex with Cochran in front of her husband probably didn’t help his mental stability. It’s Cochran’s wife who cracks blurting out “Tommy wasn’t depressed. He was just a sweet boy.” Thank you, press conference is over.
After getting fired out of nowhere Frank just wants to get drunk on his boat. He even has personal office stuff still with him. Judging by that trophy sticking out of his file box Frank is quite the bowler. Come on, why’s Kate on Frank’s boat with a poodle? That’s Sully’s girlfriend’s dog. Are you going to lie to this dog about where her owner is? Drunk and disgruntled Frank Barnes tells Kate that Mickey killed Sully. This guy has a boat and getting paid for doing nothing and somehow he’s pissed. Kate’s got all she needs.
Somebody has to get rid of Kate. Cochran meets with Ezra about talking some sense into Ray. Cochran can’t do anything because Ray is blackmailing him with the Volcheck sex tape. Ezra’s gonna take care of it, and he expects to have a “very powerful friend in Washington.”
Conor walks into Mickey’s place unannounced without knocking while Mickey is trying on his ski mask. After getting pissed and calming down, Mickey asks Conor to stay in his place while he goes to do the robbery. Why he needs Conor to stay there isn’t clear but I guess it’s so he can be there for when Shorty blows up (spoiler alert).
Ray is pissed at Mickey and wants Keith to take him off the street. That would be fine but Keith is getting in on the marijuana dispensary job. More money in robbing that safe than getting paid by Ray.
In his office, Ezra sits Ray down to talk him into taking care of Kate. Kate’s a rodef, a Jewish concept where when someone is warned of a danger and doesn’t listen, you have a right to stop them. Killing Kate is the spiritual thing to do.
It’s not happening. That murdered Catholic priest is buried at Ruth’s hospital. Ray says, “If anything happens to Kate McPhereson, that body comes up.”
Lena calls Ray to tell him that Marty at Stalkerazzi has the murder tape!
Cookie wants Ray to meet him at Pink’s Hot Dogs to talk about the murder video. Cookie has agreed to pay a million dollars for it, but Ray wants to get the tape without Cookie coming along. The video might have Bridget on it so Ray needs to see it first. Cookie agrees to let Ray do his job as long as he brings the video straight to him.
Detective Jim’s watching the whole meeting from across the street. He promised Abby that he’d set up or kill Cookie. She had sex with right after he promised so he better get it done. Jim pulls over Cookie for running a red light. Out of all the cops at the LAPD Abby could date, she had to find the one who is the worst at planting drugs on a perp. He’s fumbling with the bag of heroin while he walks to the car. When Jim tries talking tough to Cookie, his partner tells him to stop. That is a shitty partner. Did he even see one episode of The Shield? Get out of here, Cookie. I don’t have the balls to set you up on a drug charge.
The marijuana dispensary is on. Daryll is even in on it now. He’s driving the truck. Boris the security guard sends the last customers home. He tries to kick out Cherry too even though he told Cherry he always wants her to come by. But tonight is special. Boris getting married tomorrow and needs to save his sperm. Cherry offers a discount and who can pass on a bargain.
Terry and Mickey mask up and head in while Boris gets blown. For a big guy Boris gets knocked out easily. One judo chop to the back of the head from Terry and Boris is laid out. Mickey grabs the keys. They drag Boris to the back office and cuff him to a bolted desk. Where did the safe go? There’s just a bunch of marijuana plants where the safe was supposed to be. The safe got moved closer to the back door. Isn’t that perfect.
Shorty is smoking up Conor because he’s a good dude. Finally the new oxygen tanks arrive. Hook it up and crank it up, Conor. Shorty needs some of the sweet O2.
Ray finds Kate in his office. She’s going home, with her story. Ray seems resigned to the fact that Kate’s gonna do her job and report the Sully story and send him to prison. One last kiss goodbye from Kate and she’s off to Boston.
Ray gives Lena a bunch of cash for her and Avi. He really seems to think he’s going jail. Lena doesn’t want the money but she ends up taking it because she would feel like an idiot if she didn’t.
“Help, I’m back here!” Boris has woken up and he’s yelling. The duct tape that was across his mouth worked it’s way into his mouth. You know the way it would never happen. Anyway, that allows Boris to tell Keith that the cash pickup already happened. No money in safe, you dopes.
Over at Stalkerazzi Ray delivers Cookie’s million bucks. One problem, Marty says his source wants two million now. Ray finds Marty’s source in a guarded room at the Stalkerazzi office. It’s a teenager with his dad and he only wants 20k for the video on his phone. It’s the only copy. Ray gives him the money and takes his phone.
Now that Keith knows there’s no money in that safe he figures he still needs to get paid. He calls Ray to ask for 100K if he could get Mickey put away for life. That’s an insane amount of money but Ray isn’t thinking clearly and agrees. Keith is going to bail on the heist and call the cops on Mickey. He’s such a shitty parole officer.
Terry and Daryl get the safe in the van. Time to get out of there but where’s Keith? Terry goes and looks for him in office where Boris is. Keith’s gone with the keys. Terry’s locked in the security room. Cops are coming. Terry tells Mick to get the fuck out of the there. Terry’s taking the fall. Drive, Daryll. Just drive.
Ray watches the video. Amazing footage for a kid with an iPhone 5c. There’s Bridget walking away from the scene.
Time to crack the safe. Mick and Darryl pull up to get Shorty. Mickey walks up the hall and ends up saying goodbye to the best character on the show when Shorty accidentally blows himself up trying to light his joint on the butane stove. He must have forgotten that’s what happens if you have an oxygen tank. Good thing Shorty had just sent Conor across the hall to Mickey’s room. Mickey finds Conor on the floor with the door on top of him and a broken arm. Conor blames himself because he turned up that oxygen all the way.
Conor calls Ray to tell him about the explosion at Mickey’s and that his arm is broken. Ray pulls a u-turn to go get him. But he’s supposed to go see Cookie right now.
Now Ezra is giving Avi the rodef spiel. Avi definitely wants Kate taken care of. Maybe Avi will keep everyone out of jail.
Jim sulks in his car, looks at the drugs he didn’t plant, and calls Abby. “I couldn’t do it.” Abby drops her phone. That relationship is over. Abby gets her gun from the closet. Is she going to kill Cookie herself?
Firemen are at the scene of the apartment explosion. Ray arrives. Conor’s got a fractured arm. Ray tells Mick, “you almost killed your grandson.” Yeah, sure but now here’s the bad news. Terry got picked up for armed robbery. That’s it. Ray punches Mickey right in the face. Mick can take a hit better than Boris. Dumb move clocking an old man in front of the police. Cops break up the fight. Ray says he’s cool so they let him go and then he immediately lunges at Mickey. Ray gets cuffed. I thought that Ray was unarrestable.
Getting locked up is making Ray late for his meeting with Cookie and Cookie is pissed. He wants that video now.
Bridget sleeps with her head on Abby’s lap, while Abby watches an old movie on the couch. Nice family scene. Oh wait. Abby’s got the gun next to her, and she’s running her fingers along it.
Only one episode left and so much to do. Sorry, Terry. I don’t think you’re going to make to Ireland this season.