A study conducted by TGDResearch (h/t Exstreamist) discovered the only two activities the average American does more in a typical day (in minutes) than watch Netflix is work and sleep. Which sounds right, until you see the myriad of essential life needs underneath “hit yes to watch more Scrubs.”
Yes, that is eating (70 minutes) right underneath Netflix (90 minutes). Eating, of course, being the act of putting food in your mouth, keeping you alive to watch the 16th straight episode of House of Cards. Then there is reading (49 minutes), which I think is like the caveman version of “binge-watching,” or something? I don’t know. Tied with reading and THREE below Netflix is “Personal Care.” Yes, us Americans spend more time on Netflix than we do simply caring for ourselves.
This is one of those magic things that just gets more amusing, and more terrifyingly sign-of-the-times, as you go on. “Buying Things” and “Commuting” aren’t that surprising, because they’re both limited by need and funds and the like. But then you keep on scrolling to “Childcare” (25 minutes). Childcare. Listen, I’m no scientist, but I think this proves once and for all that you love Netflix more than your child. Yes, you, reading this. Shame on you. Go stream Mighty Morphing Power Rangers with your kid.
All the way at the lonely bottom is “Adult Intimacy” (two minutes). “Two minutes AVERAGE!” is something I wish I could’ve yelled in college. But here we are, officially spending our time swiping through limitless streaming choices, day by day, trying to make time for things like eating, bathing, children, and creating children. But it’s just so easy to Netflix, to binge for hours on countless options with only 15 second breaks in between episodes. Sex is hard. Raising a child is hard. Life is hard.
But Netflix will always be there. At the very minimum, at least it asks if you want to keep going when it gets bored.