I appreciate Scream Queen’s commitment to real life chronology. This week’s Thanksgiving episode (aptly named “Thanksgiving”) was stuffed full of some of the meanest dialogue yet, in what I assume is an attempt to prepare unassuming viewers for the actual barrage of Thanksgiving conversations and alcohol-fueled fights over turkey (“why are you still single?” one aunt will ask, while another remarks, “are you still talking about television for a living? Is that even a thing?” In a hypothetical, of course).
This week’s episode kicked off with Chanel revealing to Chad that she killed Hester. Curious (and slightly aroused—he’s a necrophiliac, remember?) Chad begs Chanel to let him see the dead body, and she obliges. However, when they open the meat locker, Hester’s body is nowhere to be found.
Well, at least for the first twenty minutes, anyway. Hester, in all of her living, breathing glory, interrupts the Radwell dinner to announce that she’s pregnant with Chad’s baby. As it turns out, she was never dead—the heave down the stairs merely popped her back into place, and her time in the meat locker eased any swelling.
Hester’s appearance, however, only adds to the increasingly uncomfortable Radwell Thanksgiving. See, the Radwells aren’t exactly pleasant. If you’re not convinced, please feel free to check out the scene in which they play Pictionary. Oh, you thought it would be family fun? Well, it’s not. And the word “whore” is used a lot.
After being verbally assaulted for a night, Chanel chastises Chad and his family, apologizes to Hester for trying to kill her (water under the bridge, I guess) and leaves for a Kappa Christmas.
It appears the Kappa house has more Thanksgiving guests than expected. Chanel #3 and Chanel #5 end up in their sorority house after their respective families let them down for the holidays (#3’s makes her sit with the help, gasp! #5’s family goes on an exotic vacation and forget to inform her). The Dean sets about roasting a turkey, because this is college, and in college you have this intimate of a relationship with your Dean.
As the turkey takes longer to cook than expected (again, thank you to the commitment to real life chronology! Turkeys do take a long time to cook! Scream Queens, it’s just like us!), the hungry guests quickly lapse into a game of “Who’s the Red Devil?” While everyone agrees the first Devil is Boone, the second one remains a mystery. Many are accused (Pete, the Dean, Grace by her own father), but the most damning evidence is Wes’s children. Yes, that’s right, Wes has more children than just angelic (or possibly homicidal, who knows) Grace. It appears he also fathered Boone, which means he is also the father of the other twin: the Red Devil.
To digest all of that information, first the group would need, well, some food. However, dinner doesn’t turn out quite as expected. When Chanel starts out serving turkey, she is horrified to find that the serving dish is instead offering up Gigi’s head. How it got there so swiftly, and with such ornate decorations (rosemary sprigs was a nice touch!) no one knows.
So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, happy holidays, may your relatives be non–murderous and your head not severed. Amen.