Let’s Over-Analyze This Blurry Screenshot From The ‘Game of Thrones’ Trailer

HELLO EVERYONE, AND WELCOME BACK TO

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Yesterday, HBO released the trailer for Game of Thrones’ sixth season, officially signalling for the Hype Train to leave the Anticipation Station along the Oh Fuck Yes Express route to Westeros. There are tons of tidbits and moments to get excited over–almost like a literal Tower of Joy–but perhaps none more discussed than exactly 1 minute and 17 seconds into the footage. See for yourself:

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Do you see it? Do you see it? No? NO?

Jon Snow?

As you can not-so-clearly see, the locks in the background of the trailer’s massive battle scene flip in a familiarly-floppy way, reminiscent of Kit Harrington, AKA Jon Snow, AKA the dude we last saw taking a knife to the belly from each of his colleagues in the Nights Watch. Now, Mr. Harrington is adamant that the only scenes he’s filmed for season six were as a corpse, and the trailer contains not one but three different shots of a very dead Jon Snow. Hell, the teaser opens with a corpse shot, with Liam Cuningham’s Davos Seaworth intoning “He’s gone.”

Okay, but, two things to consider. 1) That’s a straight lie, Kit, so stop with your malarkey 2) No human on this Earth or any other has hair like Jon Snow, so perish the thought from your mind. Perish it.

Perished? Cool. Let’s run through some quick scenarios using nothing but a minute-and-a-half trailer and pure speculation as to how and why Jon Snow goes from bleeding on the ground to riding majestically into battle.

(Possible spoilers for, like, EVERYTHING going forward)

Melisandre Sex-Magics Him Back To Life

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Thanks to the season three episode “Kissed By Fire,” we know that the followers of R’hllor can bring people back from the dead, even if they’ve been chopped in half by a freakishly large burn victim. So a couple of stabs to the belly wouldn’t even be that hard, comparatively. Plus, Melisandre is right there at The Wall at the conclusion of season five. Not only that but she’s looking for a new player to back in the fight, seeing as her former chosen candidate for Azor Ahai reborn, Stannis Baratheon, is either dead at the hands of Brienne or alive but a huge, doofy loser.

The trailer also establishes that Davos, pretty much Mel’s only “friend” at the Wall now, is trying to steal Jon’s corpse. He’s even making cheeky comments towards it about being a shitty fighter, something I’d do if I expected the corpse in the room to be alive pretty soon. The question then is, why even bother? Is Jon more important than, say, any of the other 1,000 people who have died on this show? Wellllllll……

Stabby Stabby Joy Joy

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What we’re seeing up there–most likely–is flashback to an important time in the life of Ned Stark (remember him? Sean Bean?), during the rebellion that took Aerys Targaryen’s crazy ass off the Iron Thron and put Robert Baratheon’s fat ass onto it.

Here we see a young Ned–flanked by, I assume, Howland Reed, Lord Willam Dustin, Ethan Glover, Martyn Cassel, Theo Wull, and Ser Mark Ryswell–approaching the Tower of Joy, where allegedly Prince Rhaegar Targaryen hid Ned’s sister Lyanna against her will. They found the Tower guarded by Ser Arthur Dayne, Ser Oswell Whent, and Lord Commander Gerold Hightower of the Kingsguard, who at the time were like the Michael Jordan, Lebron James, and Kobe Bryant of killing dudes, respectively. Ned and Howland Reed were the only people to make it into the Tower alive, where they found Lyanna seconds before she died.

Her last words were “Promise me, Ned.”

Now here’s where we go off the safe road of “facts” and into the thickets of “INTERNET SPECULATION.” A theory so widely accepted it’s basically canon is that Lyanna died giving birth to a son she had with Rhaegar–consensually. The promise Ned makes is to claim the child as his own “bastard” son. That child?

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Take out the G from A Song of Ice and Fire and you get Jon, the literal son of ice (Lyanna Stark) and fire (Rhaegar Targaryen). This makes Jon Daenerys’ nephew, a fact that makes much more sense in the books where Jon is like 14. Dany, for her part, is currently riding with a big-ass horde of horse warriors. And, you also may remember, Dany has three badass dragon children that need to come back into play eventually.

Why, though?

ICE ZOMBIES MOTHERF*CKER

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There’s currently a massive army of ice zombies and blizzard-wizards slowly marching toward the Wall, beyond which everyone is too busy squabbling over who gets to sit on a pointy chair made of swords to notice. Or, as Bran puts it in the original teaser, “They have no idea what’s going to happen.”

The only two people who seem to care about this are Jon, who is “dead,” and as seen in the trailer, Bran. But Bran has spaghetti legs and just got through puberty, so there isn’t much he can do but psychicaly wave his arms at people like “Hey! Ice zombies is comin’!” Jon, though, that dude was all about making moves against the looming threat, as evidenced by the time the Night’s King literally told Jon that if he was feeling froggy he should jump.

So Jon was the only one who wanted to stop the White Walkers, but is he…destined to?

MAYBE

Both the books and the HBO series are big on prophecies, and one of the biggest concerns the aforementioned Azor Ahai nonsense. Good ol’ Azor, back in the day, forged a magical sword by plunging it into the chest of his wife (??) and used it to defeat the Others, AKA the massive army of snow-demons that are back and ready to kill everyone. But it’s cool because the prophecy says when the Others came back so will Azor as the Prince That Was Promised, wielding his big-ass magical sword.

Prince? If Lyanna and Rhaegar are actually Jon’s parents, check. The Others returning to bring the darkness? Check? And the magical sword Lightbringer, the full properties of which were released when Azor Ahai plunged it into the chest of his wife?

Well.

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Maybe it’s a metaphor?

So yeah, there’s 1000+ words into Westerosi lore and the resurrection of Jon Snow to defeat the White Walker army and claim his rightful place as the Prince Who Was Promised, and there’s only one definitive article of proof we can all thank.

Jon Snow?

Thanks, this has been

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Let’s Over-Analyze This Blurry Screenshot From The ‘Game of Thrones’ Trailer