Your friends get deluged on their birthday on Facebook (META) with greetings. It’s kind of a numbers game, but it’s nice to stand out, especially if you really like the person in question.
Even though more and more people are doing some serious soul searching about whether or not they even want to stay on Facebook as it gets increasingly creepy, there are still some things it’s really good for. One of them is looking thoughtful after the site has reminded you that it’s someone’s birthday.
I am going to tell you an easy way to win at birthdays on Facebook.
We all know the folks who just go through every morning and write “hb” on everyone birthday boy and girls’ wall in their network. It’s pathetic. Why even bother?
Here’s a strategy that’s only slightly more time consuming than that, but it absolutely crushes, even though it is obviously phony. It doesn’t matter. Adopt this strategy and you will win, again and again.
When you want to wish someone a happy birthday on Facebook and you want them to notice, just go to YouTube and do a search for “Happy Birthday THEIR NAME.” Nine times out of ten you will find something amazing (and by amazing I mean kitschy, but that’s awesome). First of all, there are a bunch of weird YouTubers out there who have just made a million videos singing “Happy Birthday” to a bunch of common names. Second, there are loads of people who have made a video for some friend or family member that will be very funny if you post it to your friend’s wall.
For bonus points, write a message to go with it that says something like, “I made this video just for you.” They will believe it for just a second before they hit play and find out it’s a monster lie. In fact, I just did it. My high school friend, Sarah, had a birthday today. I posted this video to her wall:
Yes, I like to find the creepiest video possible and post it. It’s kinda my thing. You don’t have to do that. There’s plenty of cutesy ones.
Here are some more:
“Happy Birthday, Nathan.”
“Happy Birthday, Amanda.”
“Happy Birthday, John.”
“Happy Birthday, Margaret.”
“Happy Birthday, Dena.”
“Happy Birthday, Morgan.”
“Happy Birthday, Sage.”
“Happy Birthday, David.”
Are you convinced?
Obviously, some people with non-standard names are left out of this strategy. When all else fails, though, there is always the drunk clown happy birthday.