‘Real World: Go Big Or Go Home’ Episode 7: The Tipping Point

Penthouse Pet, Dione.

Penthouse Pet, Dione. MTV

Whoever names Real World episodes gets mad shout outs this week because this is the most perfectly titled episode since that Friends┬ácalled “The One After Joey and Rachel” kiss which was the one after Joey and Rachel kiss. When people ask me what shows I watch and I say Real World and they say “that’s still on?” and I say “yeah it’s dope” and they say “I stopped watching after they weren’t real people anymore, like remember when they had jobs and stuff now it’s all drinking and partying?” and I say “no they still cover important topics sometimes” and then everyone laughs at me and instead talks about their favorite moment like when CT fought Adam or the Seattle slap, or Pedro, or the Vegas I threesome. I have this conversation about three times a week and I don’t mind one bit because I love Real World and I would talk about it forever. If MTV was smart, they’d put a package together that you can sign up for with a bunch of their old shows and I would sit and watch every Real World, Road Rules & Challenge season from the beginning. CBS did that and I rewatched every Big Brother and those have 40 ep seasons and I regret none of it because I am a savage.

But I digress. This week’s episode covered a whole bunch of topics that are really important and so to prove everyone who thinks that the show is just kids getting lit and stuff, here’s what happened that’s worth having a conversation about.

The titular “tipping point” mostly refers to Jenna, who has been the enemy of the house from the jump based on her very vocal feelings on race, religion, sexuality, guns, and being about that Trump USA life. The roommates go to a gun range to shoot guns, which is hard for Ceejai seeing as how her father shot her mother and then himself. But Ceejai goes anyway because she wants to keep an open mind about life. And yeah, she has a good time firing a gun but she believes that gun ownership should be done respectfully and responsibly. (Ceejai is owning this season and watching her deal with her past is another great part of the show) Jenna disagrees and presses the matter in the van ride home. I don’t know why some people see “tactfully not beating a point to death out of respect for someone else” as a major weakness. There are certain times and places, pretty often actually, where to quote Elon’s law “you could just say nothing.” Hearing Jenna speak about gun control is so dope though because I’ve never heard these arguments come out of anything aside from a Twitter egg so hearing them vocalized is a new and novel thing for me that I’m sure would get tiring pretty quickly. Basically, the point boils down to when the government comes to your house and starts shooting at you, you’re going to want to have your guns. I guess to shoot back? For real, when the government comes and starts shooting at me like I’m not going to just lay down and die, I’ll try not to get killed but I’m not really going to be all that optimistic about the world I’m trying to survive myself into. Like, at that point I’ll assume my days of recapping Real World are over and there probably won’t ever be another Will Smith summer blockbuster or an NBA Finals so what’s even the point of going on? Anyway, the rest of the roommates don’t see eye to eye with Jenna but they actually have a gun control debate on MTV in 2016 and y’all that is so dope so yeah.

Jenna got into some other trouble with her roommates because apparently she is mega-cheap. She asked the guy at the gun range for a free hat and the guy gave it to her. Dione aka Matador the Pickup Artist Pirate got on Jenna’s case about always asking for free stuff. He literally lives off the land which involves eating other people’s Pop Tarts, and has gone begging for change on the street corner in Vegas (which in fairness he gave away in the end) so that’s a bit of a double standard. And in fairness to Jenna, if they’re going to give you stuff for free…especially in Vegas, you take it and keep walking. That said, she also undertips at a fancy restaurant and you should always take care of your server. This is the tipping point for Ceejai who has been gracious and patient with Jenna all season. Ceejai calls her out and brings down the thunder like “I know where South Carolina is, I will climb up a mountain and make sure you know who the fuck Ceejai is,” which my friend pointed out is definitely the best line of the season. Jenna says she’ll pray for Ceejai and Ceejai tells her not to bother and so now I don’t know if Jenna’s going to pray for her or not.

Another thing that happened this week which didn’t get called out in the same way, has to do with Dean’s divorce getting finalized. He’s been going through it all season and it’s clearly been weighing on him. He flies back to L.A. to see the judge and while he’s gone his roommates get a mission to throw him a divorce party. More on that later. So Dean and Kailah have been flirting a little bit here and there. We see Dean climb into bed with her earlier in the episode. But some really uncomfortable, bad stuff happens this ep. First, Dean and Kailah are napping together on the couch. The roommates start messing with them, which is fair game to a point. But taking someone’s hand while they’re sleeping and putting it on someone else’s crotch while they are sleeping is bad. Flat out. Not a prank. It’s bad. That’s the warm up. At Dean’s party, he is lit. And happy to be single. And flirting with Kailah some more. And as the night progresses, he grabs her by the back of the head and kisses her aggressively. And she is very clearly not into it. Later on, he corners her on the balcony and tries it again with her pressed up against side of the railing. She looks like she’d rather jump over than be there. This is really, really bad. Not okay. And for the record, because Twitter was full of this, it doesn’t matter that Kailah was flirting with him earlier in the night. It doesn’t matter that he was drunk and newly divorced. It is bad. It shouldn’t happen. It’s not excusable. And I wished they called this out more in the episode.

Dean’s party was at the Palm’s Hard Court suite which is a hotel room with a basketball court in it. Let me say that again because I fainted and hit my head like Doc Brown when he came up with the idea for the flex capacitor. There is a hotel room in Vegas that has a full half-court basketball court in it. Why would you ever stay anywhere else? I’ve been to Vegas a couple of times and the best thing about any one of the room’s that I was staying in was that the bathroom had a jacuzzi tub which you never ever use because it’s Vegas and yuck gross. If my room had a basketball court in it I wouldn’t even know what Vegas looked like. I’d be reenacting all of Bill Murray’s scenes from Space Jam for the full weekend. I wouldn’t leave my room until I could dunk which would mean I’d never leave which wouldn’t matter because it has a basketball court in it. That is one million times cooler than the room with a bowling alley they got in that O.C. episode. Seriously, I’d just tie a bandana around my head and recite all of Tupac’s lines from Above the Rim until it was time for Birdie to fly home.

Sabrina and Jenna get a mission this week. They both sing so they need to write and record a song together. When they finally get into the studio with their producer who looks like Jordan Knight got an Ed Hardy gift certificate, Jenna calls his changes dumb and doesn’t want him switching up her genius songwriting. She feels like sometimes people don’t get her lyrics because they’re too sophisticated. Which granted, I’ll say that I didn’t get her lyrics. Pretty sure nobody got her lyrics they were so clearly very sophisticated. I think her song was about smoke that rises up from the ashes of a fire set by the light of the setting sun down in the Delta of the southern pride that is reborn amen. So the boys decide to get lit and write their own song called DTLV (Down to Lick Vagina) and they sing it and I guess rock n roll isn’t dead now or something.

Also, Dione got 500 business cards printed up to give out to girls so they’ll come up to the penthouse. He is a bit of an innovator for sure.

Next week, Amanda (Please) comes to visit which I have been waiting for all season. ‘Real World: Go Big Or Go Home’ Episode 7: The Tipping Point