Feng Shui Your Apartment Based on Your Date’s Social Media Posts

The Handy app is offering on-demand First Date Feng Shui.

circa 1956: A couple sitting on a specially designed four poster bed. (Photo by Three Lions/Getty Images)
Did she Feng Shui for her gentleman caller?

Handy, the on-demand cleaning service beloved by lazy New Yorkers, is now offering free First Date Feng Shui consultations for those worried about a potential mate getting the wrong vibe from their abode. Not only will a professional peruse your apartment and tailor it for a date–they will customize it for your specific date, who they will stalk on social media to guarantee it’s what they’re looking for. Forget about carefully arranging your interesting books and hiding your granny panties; now, you have to enlist a professional to rearrange your apartment to make sure someone likes you. 

If you choose to adjust your furniture based on a potential partner’s predilections, you will have help from Carol Olmstead, the expert behind Feng Shui for Real Life. Olmstead will give consultations based on what the visitor is into (or at least, what it looks like they’re into from social media). Her designs are meant to “optimize the chances of romantic compatibility and the avoidance of knee-jerk, passion-killing condemnation and judgment,” according to Handy. 

A Handy apartment.

“In Feng Shui, clutter represents postponed decisions and the inability to move forward. That means when you have too much stuff in your home, there’s no room for a new relationship to find you. I’m offering this service to help people rearrange their space, shift the energy, and take the first step to make the best first impression,” Olmstead said in the Handy press release. 

Olmstead will advise on what furniture, books, photographs and art should be hidden or displayed. The consultations will be by Skype or Google Hangout, subject to availability. Handy created the collaboration after commissioning a survey that revealed many New Yorkers have broken up with someone because of the state of their apartment–with the number one reason being that a home didn’t have any toilet paper in sight. Still, you shouldn’t need a professional to remind you to pick up TP at the store; but if you do, Olmstead can help.

Feng Shui Your Apartment Based on Your Date’s Social Media Posts