‘Big Brother’ Week Two Recap: Piggyback Door

Ride off into the sunset.

Ride off into the sunset. CBS

From Here to Eternity is one of my most favorite movies ever. And it’s not just because there is some hardcore bugling and Montgomery Clift is an all-time hunk. There is a list of reasons as deep as the ocean that crashes its waves over Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr’s beach make-out. But one thing that I’ve always carried with me from this film is a quote that Monty’s character says when explaining how he could possibly still want to be a part of an army that is actively making his life miserable. “A man loves a thing that don’t mean it’s gotta love him back.”

Yo, I love Big Brother. Truly, with all of my heart. You don’t watch 18 seasons of nearly 40 eps each plus hours of live feeds and cast interviews and listen to podcasts and read blog posts and write recaps if you don’t care about that thing. I care. And because of that I have high-standards for this show. Look, it’s nearly impossible to ensure a completely safe environment. Part of the fun of the show is the drama. But it has to be kept within reason. The issue I have has to do with some behavior with one houseguest this season. A returning fan-fave. Last night, Frank walked into a room and slapped Da’Vonne’s butt. It happened off camera but you could hear the sound it made. Da’Vonne was nearly in tears from his actions. This isn’t the first time Frank has said something or touched a houseguest inappropriately. If you have a zero tolerance policy against physical violence like punching and fighting, you have to have a policy against this other kind of physical violence. It is not okay to make a houseguest feel uncomfortable like this. It is not okay in the real world, and it is not okay when you are stuck in an enclosed environment and can’t get more than 100 feet away from the person. And yes, you have a choice to be there and CAN leave, but the victim in this case shouldn’t be the one to have to make the choice. It doesn’t matter if the person doing it feels like it is in “good fun.” It’s not up to them to decide what that means to someone else.

This is beyond game play. This is about safety and personal wellbeing and there are more ways to intimidate someone than just punching them in the face. I’d actually prefer getting hit than having a person repeatedly make me feel uncomfortable and then act like it was on me for not being able to take a joke. I’m not calling for any ramifications toward Frank outside of the show, that’s up to other people. But he needs to go. He shouldn’t be allowed to act this way and still have this opportunity. Whether or not Big Brother takes into account the way its fans feel about this type of behavior, and it is overwhelmingly clear that the fans are not okay with it, that will show how they feel about us in return. You can love something, and it doesn’t have to love you back. And yo, I don’t want to get serious in this forum. I want to talk about Victor and his piggyback rides and inability to not tell every secret he’s ever heard in his life and how Paul gave one of the funniest farewell messages I’ve ever seen. So that’s what I’m going to do now but this felt like it needed to be said.

Victor. Victor! Poor, handsome Victor. My man was not made for this house. It’s like they took Dan Cortese’s Mimbo character from that Seinfeld ep and threw him in with the wolves. Victor was solo responsible for an unbelievable week of television. First, after his number one ally, Jozea the messiah, was backdoored Victor gave us a blessing of a DR, in-full tears talking about how he never cries but Jozea was a good dude. It felt like the part in every Will Ferrall movie when the emotions take over and Will has a good cry from whatever oddball situation he’s put himself in. Victor was primed to win HoH but he just couldn’t pull it off thanks to an amazing intentional stumble by his teammate (but secret adversary) James. Paulie won HoH and concocted a plan to backdoor Victor as revenge for the week before.

Everybody in the house knew Victor’s every move mostly because Victor told everyone in the house his every move. If Meaghan Trainor wrote a song about Victor it would go “Your shirt is off, I know you’re telling me every secret you’ve ever known” and it would prob def be a huge hit. Not only did Victor tell all of his truths but he also believed everyone else’s lies. Paulie roped Paul into the plan to backdoor Victor, which was actually great for Paul. Paul someone managed this week to come off like a solid gameplayer while also looking like a good friend to Victor by trying to warn him about what was coming. Victor just ignored every sign. Paul would be like “you sure you’re good?” and Victor is like “yeah, I’m sure!” and Paul is like “you might not be” and Vic is like “nah, I am don’t worry I trust everyone” and Paul starts jumping up and down and waving his arms “I literally know you’re not going to make it through this” and Vic pauses and then goes “ehhh, I don’t think so.” Paulie puts Bronte and Paul on the block, but Paul is in on it. Then Victor wins the BB Roadkill, which is a secret but decides to go and tell everyone about it. He nominates Tiffany, which sends her off on her own tailspin, leading to the eventual destruction of her 8-Pack alliance.

I watched the Roadkill episode with my friend, E, who is like a PT Cruiser with a lift kit. He’s never seen the show before and brought up an interesting strategy point. There was no REAL way for Vic to know he was getting back-doored. Nobody in the house would confirm it for him. The real strategic advantage of backdooring someone (aside from the mental aspect, giving them less time to get votes, and some other intangible things) is that they can’t play in the veto. So if you knew you were getting backdoored, and won BB Roadkill, would it be a solid strategy to secretly nominate yourself so you for sure get to play veto? It takes the blood off the hands of the HoH, which is a downside. It’s tough to go after someone if they didn’t nominate you, they will always claim that they weren’t and you did it to yourself. And if you put yourself on the block and it backfired, it’d look terrible. But it’s a big move and if it worked and you got off the block and were safe and got to secretly nominate your own replacement, I think it would be considered a legendarily bold move. Something to think about.

Paul got Houseguest’s Choice for the veto and didn’t pick Vic, because Paul was in on the plan with Paulie and the house would be against him if he did. Vic trying to explain to Paul, who knew exactly what he was doing, why that was a bad move was amazing. Vic’s like “if you picked me and I won, I could take you down and I’d be safe” and Paul is like “explain that to me” and Vic is like “I’d win the veto and take you down and they couldn’t put me, your #1 ally, up as a replacement” and Paul is like “I don’t get it” and Vic is like “it would’ve be a good move and I’d be safe but it’s cool I’m gonna go piggyback ride on Frank” and then he literally does just that. He jumps on Frank’s back and rides out of the room like Sir Didymus on Ambrosius in Labyrinth. The finest room exit I’ve ever seen.

Paulie wins the veto by spelling SUSTAINABILITY, which is the dopest word I’ve ever seen spelled on one of these comps. Even Brandon from BB12/BB13 would be like “that’s a good word to spell and I know because I’m a rocket scientist.” Tiffany was supposed to throw the competition but didn’t, which made Da’Vonne suspicious of her. Da’Vonne’s suspicion mixed with Frank telling Paulie about the 8-Pack led to that alliance crumbling. Paulie took down Paul and put up Vic who ended up getting voted out 9-1 even though he did his eviction speech as a Swedish version of Dan Aykroyd’s Mrs. Estherhouse character from Caddyshack 2. Unfortunately, nobody piggybacked him out the door to Julie. Someone should’ve hooked him up. Before he left, Victor got a totally earnest farewell message from Paul that was like “Vic bud we blew it” in his Rafi from The League voice. It was absolutely perfect and honest and cracked me up hard.

The HoH competition was a tennis match where you had to get your balls in the highest slot. But they had actual ballboys running back and forth during the match. Some CBS exec got their grandkids the dopest gig on television. Bridgette ended up winning, which was good for Frank because he had told her she was his little sister earlier in the week. Frank is safe now, which shouldn’t matter because Production should give him the boot. But we’ll see how this week plays out. Bridgette is an unknown quantity in the house so it could get interesting. Victor still has a chance to come back into the house because of the twist so we’ll see how that goes after week five. Mostly a great week but for real, Frank gotta go.

‘Big Brother’ Week Two Recap: Piggyback Door