A Bunch of Pitches for TV Shows I Think Hollywood Should Make

OOOOOO SPOOKY

OOOOOO SPOOKY Dana Schwartz

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: AMERICAN APPAREL — Three of Ryan Murphy’s favorite actors face the paranormal horror of skin-tight lycra with sizes that were designed for prepubescent French prostitutes. Everyone who works there is also in a spooky ghost cult.

TOP OF THE DAY — A reality show in which Leonardo DiCaprio tries on pageboy caps at increasingly jaunty angles

MADDER MEN — In the vein of Mad Men, a gritty period drama that shows all of the casual sexism and obstacles women face in the workplace. It takes place in 2015.

THE WEBSERIES — Two comedy writers (Ben Feldman and Dakota Johnson) and who ran out of ideas attempt to create a web series (this show is also a web series, but not the one they create).

DOING JUST FIENNES — Ralph Fiennes and Joseph Fiennes wander around Time Square until we see which one of them gets recognized first.

ANOTHER TIME TRAVEL SHOW — Adam Pally and Joel McHale star as two rogue comedy writers who go back in time to 2015 to prevent all of these time-travel shows that the networks are coming out with in 2016.

JUST KIDDING ROWLING — A TV show fictionalizing the day to day life of author J.K. Rowling (Laura Pulver) after the end of the Harry Potter series, while she’s wrestling with the urge to make up more stuff about the Harry Potter universe.

COOKING BATTLE — A cooking competition in which average people chosen at random are asked to do a “Chopped”-style challenge against actual professional chefs. They always lose, but we get to laugh at them.

THREE LUMPY JEWS — Dana (Dana Schwartz), Amy (Amy Schumer), and Lena (Lena Dunham) star as three girls making out with boys who find slightly louder-than-normal women who can’t self-censor irresistible.

A Bunch of Pitches for TV Shows I Think Hollywood Should Make