The ‘Ocean’s 8’ Lineup: Finally Respite From This Hellish Year

Let us praise the Goddesses of the Earth and offer our devotion

The bountiful Mother Gaia has provided

The bountiful Mother Gaia has provided. Dana Schwartz

Come near to me, sweet children. Let me wipe the sweat from your brow and hold you close to my breast. The long night is over, and at last, dawn’s gentle rays have begun to caress the sky.

At the helm of Helios’ chariot? The cast of Oceans 8, a panoply enough to show the gods have not forsaken us.

Art thou prepared, weak mortal?

  • Sandra “Blind Sided” Bullock
  • Cate “Is Cate Blanchett Good or Just Tall” Blanchett
  • Anne “Theatre Kid” Hathaway
  • Rihanna. Motherfucking Rihanna
  • Awkwa—“New Kid on the Block”—fina
  • Helena Bonham “Ex-Mrs. Burton, New Miss Badass” Carter
  • Mindy “All Around All-Star” Kaling

The film is Ocean’s 8, and only seven stars have been named. So, we wait in anticipation for the sea to foam and put forth the announcement that Simone Biles is in this movie too.

The ‘Ocean’s 8’ Lineup: Finally Respite From This Hellish Year