Every episode of The Young Pope feels a little bit like waking from a dream: The details are clear but inexplicable. When you try to explain what happened to a third party, you sound rambling and insane: “There was a kangaroo, and that one guy had mole, and the redheaded priest was having an orgy with Honduran people, and, and…” The actual content of the episode fades, slipping through your fingers like the bulk of a dream dissolving from your brain the moment you rise to brush your teeth. What is real? What parts of the episodes mattered? Does any of it matter?
No. Of course not. This is a television show about Jude Law being a Machiavellian pope and it opened with a shot of him crawling out from under a pile of naked babies. This television show is bananas. I’m never actually sure what’s going on, and it’s my favorite television show.
Here are all of my half-remembered favorite things in this glorious, beautiful disaster. I have no idea what episode these are from, or if they even actually happened (spoiler alert: they did). The Young Pope is a series of discrete fever dream hallucinations.
When Young Pope got furious because someone put a laser pointer on his face
That one guy’s mole that always looks like it’s about to slip off his face. Why is this a thing they decided to put on his head? It’s not a real mole. What does it meaaaaan?
Young Pope insisting on only drinking Cherry Coke Zero like a motherfucking diva.
Young Pope getting mad at this nun for crying when her sister died.
Young Pope releasing a kangaroo in the Papal gardens and testing his Force powers by trying to make it jump on command.
The guy named Edgar who died at breakfast.
When the Young Pope rang his secret desk bell and this guy came in and told him it was time for a snack.
The Honduran orgy with Redheaded Friend who then pulls a sheet over all of their heads like an effing weirdo.
Redheaded Friend and Young Pope going to a hotel to buy cigarettes and wearing matching tracksuits and then chatting with a prostitute briefly.
Young Pope talking about Banksy.
The lyrics “I work out,” from the song, “I’m Sexy and I Know It,” playing during a shot of Young Pope shirtless, getting dressed for being pope. What an amazing song choice. The song “I’m Sexy and I Know It,” would totally be playing while Paul Blart got dressed as pope in a Paul Blart sequel if Paul Blart became Pope.