Warning: PK Kemsley’s nipples make far too many appearances in this episode. At the same time, his wife Dorit is shockingly likable. It’s all very unsettling.
We pick up where we left off last week: Lisa Rinna obnoxiously announcing her arrival at the party house in Mexico. She gets a distant but polite welcome from Kyle Richards and only Erika Gerardi gets up to greet Lisa. Mauricio “Moe” Umansky doesn’t even get out of the pool, telling her she can pick whichever leftover room she likes best. Rinna sashays away, seemingly oblivious, and Lisa Vanderpump says, “Okay, I feel bad now.” No you don’t – and neither do we.
Later, everyone is pre-gaming for the launch party of The Agency’s new office in Punta Mita. Kyle looks possibly the best she ever has in a floor-length red gown with plunging neckline. Dorit Kemsley has a high, sleek ponytail and a white, off-the-shoulder jumpsuit that matches new arrival Eileen Davidson’s strapless number. Rinna looks curvy-skinny in a tight green dress, and thankfully LVP ditched her recent uniform of black party slacks for a low-cut, hot pink maxi dress. Erika, as always, stands out in a glittery, Versace-esque LBD. Meanwhile, Mauricio and PK are wearing casual button-down shirts, chinos, and sneakers. (Mo still looks hot. PK…not so much.)
Rinna fills in Erika and Eileen on her trip to New York to see Delilah walk in Tommy Hilfiger’s fashion show. She still cannot pronounce “Hilfiger” to save her life. Eileen talks about going for a vitamin drip with Eden Sassoon and how Eden has issues with how Kyle has treated her. Erika very firmly but nicely tells Rinna she needs to go talk to Kyle about Eden. Rinna is shocked and dumbfounded – or just dumb. She says she has no idea what issue Kyle could have with her over Eden. Rinna calls Kyle over and professes her supposed ignorance.
The height of Rinna’s acting this episode comes when Kyle says, “Did you or did you not say my sister is close to death?” Rinna’s face is one of pure shock, but it’s probably just that she forgot talking such complete crap to Eden. Her thespian skills decline from there. “And that she is not 100 percent sober, and that I’m an enabler?” Kyle continues. You can tell it’s dawned on Rinna that she did indeed say those things – but will she admit it? Of course not.
Lisa Rinna is about to learn this lesson so we don’t have to: If you stir the shit, you’re going to have to lick the spoon eventually. For now, she claims, “I do not ever remember saying that.” Carefully worded bullshit. “I really don’t think I would say that,” she says when pressed further by Kim. LVP lays it out and says this is something you would remember saying or not saying. But Rinna deflects, turning to Dorit and saying, “Didn’t Eden go off about Kim to you?” She did, but what does that have to do with anything?
Kyle asks Rinna point-blank where Eden would have gotten these ideas if not from her. Rinna says she must have “put two and two together” at game night. Uh, okay.
Now Rinna is doing the classic narcissist’s move: When challenged, lash out at the accuser or someone else. She bleats about how she has “tried to be so careful” about how she uses her words. LVP is hilariously, justifiably outraged. “Careful with how you use your words?!” She reminds Rinna of how she brought up Kim’s arrest at game night, as callous a use of words as one could imagine.
Kyle isn’t buying what Rinna is selling, asking her how Eden would have gotten such firm ideas about her and Kim out of thin air. Up against a wall, Rinna hems and haws. “You know, I didn’t say it in a hateful or mean way if it was said.” Isn’t this the woman who is always crowing about how she “owns it”?
LVP pushes her further, and Rinna says maybe she said it “in a different context.” Absolute horseshit, and Vanderpump calls her on it. Rinna is truly outwitted here, and LVP is not letting up. She reams Rinna for taking Eden into her confidence and talking about Kim’s issues at all. Rinna says, “I feel really sad about it now.” Who cares? Don’t be sad, be honest. She really shows her true colors when she tells Kyle, “I love you and I have your back. I’ve done my best to extricate myself from this situation.” That’s three huge lies in two sentences – a new RHOBH record? Rinna claims Eden sodomized her in the butt (to put it in a less profane way than she did). She’s utterly shameless.
Eileen thinks LVP is being “opportunistic” and “seems a little too excited about the whole thing.” Maybe, but who could blame her? Rinna couldn’t be further out of line if she tried. She’s grandstanding about how she’s “not going to take it.” Take what, being outed for spreading lies about her “friend” and her family?
The nadir of Rinna’s acting “skills” come when she’s outside fake crying to Dorit and Eileen. “What did I do?!” she wails. Well, we already covered this. You made up lies about Kim and Kyle. Dorit is being way too supportive here, but it’s kind of endearing. Rinna is in total victim mode, claiming she’s been “ambushed” and hard done by. Eileen, who had been feeling icky earlier, is finally so sick to her stomach that she has to leave. They go inside to tell the other women they’re bouncing, and Erika asks Rinna if she’s been crying. “Yeah,” she replies in a self-pitying little voice. Erika, like Dorit, is way too nice to Rinna and goes after her to make sure she’s okay. Cue more fake crying from Rinna. Erika says she’s following Eileen and Rinna back to the house to check on them and Kyle feels bad. The only one not feeling bad is the one who should: Lisa Rinna.
Back at the house, Rinna is reclining on her bed with a smile on her face, looking at her phone. When Erika knocks, Lisa puts her sad face back on. Erika urges her to tell the truth and only the truth. “If I did it, I will cop to it. I just don’t think I said those words,” Rinna says. Erika closes her eyes in a “Child, give me strength” expression. She is nobody’s fool, and she knows Rinna is BSing. “Lisa, I’m begging you to just tell the facts,” she says in a scarily calm voice. Rinna says she “can’t tell the facts if I don’t know the facts” and says she “can’t 100 percent remember” if she said such outrageous things about Kim and Kyle. Erika rolls her eyes, knowing better.
The morning after the party, Lisa Rinna calls her husband Harry Hamlin to play the victim some more. Harry is a fool if he’s been with Lisa this long and can’t see through her act.
Meanwhile, back in California, Eden Sasson’s mother Beverly comes to visit. (Is it petty to note that her mom drives a Mercedes C-Class, their entry level car line? I mean, it’s a very nice car, but it’s a long way from what one thinks of as Beverly Hills standard issue. It takes courage to drive one of those things in 90210!)
Beverly is absolutely stunning – glowing and youthful without looking like she’s trying to appear younger than she is. Eden says in her interview that her mom was an active alcoholic when she was growing up, then got sober – which is when Eden started to drink. Beverly was sober for 17 years, until Eden’s sister Catya died in January 2002, when she (understandably) relapsed. Four years ago, they got sober together and grew close for the first time. It’s a moving story.
Eden tells her mom that the Richards sisters remind her of her and Cat, and she’s trying to help them but they don’t seem to want it. Beverly tells her that their life isn’t hers, and she needs to accept that she’s powerless over other people. Let it go, her mom advises. In the gentlest possible way, Beverly tells her to mind her own business and “zip it.” Eden seems to get it, finally. She can try to help but nobody is under any obligation to take her up on it, and that’s their business – not hers.
In Mexico, we see the best scene of Dorit and PK this show has ever featured. They call home to talk to one of the nannies and check in on their small children. Dorit is clearly, genuinely torn up to hear her little boy say “Mama” over and over. The nanny tells her not to cry and PK comforts her. They both tell the nanny they love her, which is very sweet.
Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd are leaving to go to Washington, D.C., where LVP is going to testify to US Congress to get China to stop a dog meat festival. Very noble cause, but I’m not sure how that will work. LVP says she thinks that will be more easily accomplished than dealing with Rinna and Kyle on a boat all day in Mexico.
On the boat, Rinna is screaming her head off. I can’t imagine how annoying it is to be within 100 yards of that. She and Eileen lay out on the front of the boat and Rinna pulls the wool over Eileen’s eyes, not for the first time. But will it be the last? Doubtful.