‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Recap 7×14: Shocking Developments

The Fat Jewish comes over and threatens to give Kyle a lap dance, which she's happy to have.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Bravo TV

Lisa Vanderpump and her husband Ken are brushing their dogs in the sun at Villa Rosa. That place will forever be my dream house – there is literally nothing about it that isn’t perfect or beautiful. What’s less attractive is a man like Ken being so involved in all this lady drama. He has a strong opinion that Kyle Richards should be more upset with Lisa Rinna than with Eden Sassoon. Okay, girlfriend.

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Kyle is meeting Dorit Kemsley for lunch at Il Pastaio, where Kyle seems to have lunch every other episode. Instagram personality The Fat Jewish is coming to Kyle’s store for a promotional event. (Not linking to him because I don’t think he’s funny. At all.) Dorit is wearing wangs – fake bangs. They look natural, though. Dorit says she thinks Rinna’s habit of constantly talking trash then apologizing and saying she’s “owning it,” then repeating the cycle, makes it hard to trust her. Ya think? Kyle thinks Rinna truly believed all the nasty things she said about her sister Kim to Eden, but that Rinna’s “not a bad person.” Yeah, that makes a ton of sense, Kyle.

Erika Girardi is meeting Eileen Davidson for lunch at a bakery. They’re both admiring Rinna for “owning it.” Yawn. Eileen says she would rather deal with someone like Rinna who slanders people openly than someone who’s covert. Because “I can’t remember if I said you were near death and not sober” is totally open and transparent, right? 

Rinna says in her interview how much she wants to move on. We see a clip of her after their fight at the Carnie Wilson dessert tasting, of Rinna asking Kim for a hug. Unbelievably, Kim says yes. Rinna talks a good game about letting go of anger and resentment to bring positive energy into her life, but her actions say something completely different.

The Fat Jewish is at Kyle’s store for the event. Kyle has him call Rinna to ask her why, if she’s so sick with stomach flu, she was shopping for shoes on Instagram. Rinna laughs and says in her interview that her doctor is right next to Saks, so…She’s owning it! “It” being untrustworthy.

Dorit falls out of the car when she and PK pull up to the store. Erika compliments Dorit’s sleek bob, and Dorit says, “That’s the first compliment I’ve gotten from you ever.” Erika is taken aback and says that’s not true, don’t say that. She wonders if Dorit is keeping score. Dorit just seems to want to be closer to her than Erika is willing to be. I can’t believe Pantygate wasn’t mentioned as a possible barrier to these two becoming besties.

The Fat Jewish comes over and threatens to give Kyle a lap dance, which she’s happy to have. She sits on a sofa and TFJ takes off his shirt and rubs his big belly in her face. It’s gross. Mauricio swoops in and says he’s the only Jewish man who’s allowed near Kyle. I really could have used a trigger warning for this scene.

LVP invites Erika to come to Hong Kong with her and Kyle for the documentary they’re making about the dog meat industry in China. Dorit is going too. In a totally unscripted move (…), Eileen wanders over and Erika immediately asks her if she wants to come to Hong Kong. In another totally unscripted move (…) Eden walks up and LVP invites her too. I really wish production would be real: These women have insane schedules and international trips get scheduled months out, not days. 

The next day, LVP has Kyle, Dorit and Erika over for a gorgeous outdoor lunch. Kyle announces Kim is now a grandmother – Brooke gave birth the previous night, after the event at her store. The whole family, plus Faye Resnick, was at the birth. Why would you inflict Faye Resnick on a newborn?

Dorit says there’s no way around LVP inviting Rinna to Hong Kong since she invited Eileen. LVP reasons that they can at least use their social media followings to help bring attention to the dog meat issue. Then Dorit and Erika get into a kind of dumb conversation about how Erika doesn’t instantly open up to new people and keeps her secrets to herself and her husband. Dorit, just accept that Erika doesn’t want to be close to you and move on.

Erika and her glam squad get on Tom’s private plane and head to Georgia. They go to her late grandparents’ house where her mom’s fiancé is waiting for them. Her mom isn’t home yet, so Erika gives them a tour of the very charming country house. She talks about her close bond with her grandmother and how watching her descent into Alzheimer’s disease was so brutal. Erika is in tears as she talks about losing the connection to her grandmother, who played a major role in her upbringing. It’s sweet. The next day, Erika and her mom go to her grandparents’ grave in the woods and Erika cries again. Say what you want about her, I like that she is selective with what she shares and doesn’t apologize for it. Nobody’s entitled to know all her secrets, even if she’s on a reality show.

LVP and Ken are getting their “dog rescue” premises set up, and it looks like it’s going to be a lot more store than sanctuary. Rinna comes by and LVP asks her to come to Hong Kong. She tells Rinna she wants to put the Dubai debacle behind them and move on because she has so many other emotionally draining things going on. Rinna agrees and says she’ll go to Hong Kong as if this wasn’t already a done deal negotiated months ago with production, agents, and managers. Gosh, glad they didn’t leave that as a cliffhanger for us. I wonder if there will be any drama in Hong Kong next week. Any bets?

‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Recap 7×14: Shocking Developments