‘Imagined Dialogue For’ is our series by the hilarious and talented Chris Scott, of Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen fame. Next up? Chris takes a stab at guessing what happens in FOX’s return to early-2000’s jail, Prison Break.
INT. NIGHT
[PHONE RINGS]
MICHAEL: Hello?
LINCOLN: Hey Michael? It’s your brother, Lincoln. I need your help.
MICHAEL: Sure, anything. What’s up?
LINCOLN: I’m in prison. I need you to come break me out.
MICHAEL: Yikes man, what are you doing in prison?
LINCOLN: Well, not a whole lot!
MICHAEL: Hahahaha
LINCOLN: Hahahaha
MICHAEL: Hahahaha that’s a good one.
LINCOLN: Thanks, dude. But for real, come break me out of prison.
/////////////////////////
INT. NIGHT
[PHONE RINGS]
MICHAEL: Hello?
LINCOLN: Michael, I need your help. I’m in prison again.
MICHAEL: Wow seriously? What are you doing–
LINCOLN: Not a whole lot buddy, it’s prison!
MICHAEL: Haha every time, Lincoln.
LINCOLN: I know, I know. I can’t stop.
MICHAEL: So do you need me to come break you out?
LINCOLN: Yes.
/////////////////////////
INT. NIGHT
[PHONE RINGS]
MICHAEL: Hello?
LINCOLN: Not a whole lot man!
MICHAEL: Haha, it doesn’t really work if I don’t set you up. You wanna try again?
LINCOLN: Nah, I’m good.
MICHAEL: Okee dokee, can I ask you something?
LINCOLN: For sure.
MICHAEL: Why do you keep doing stuff to get yourself thrown in prison if you know you’re going to need me to orchestrate an elaborate prison break every time?
LINCOLN: Prison break? Buddy, the only thing I need a break from is prison!
MICHAEL: I… know. That’s what a prison break essentially is.
LINCOLN: The only thing I need a break from is–
MICHAEL: Prison. I know. Alright listen, I’m going to come break you out one last time. After that, if you get yourself locked up again, I’m sorry, but that’s it. You’re staying there.
LINCOLN: Deal.
MICHAEL: I’m serious.
LINCOLN: I know.
/////////////////////////
INT. NIGHT
[PHONE RINGS]
MICHAEL: Hello?
LINCOLN: Michael, it’s Lincoln.
MICHAEL: Do not be in prison again.
LINCOLN: I’m in prison again.
MICHAEL: Dude.
LINCOLN: It’s hard not to go to prison. The rush of breaking out again just gets me every time.
MICHAEL: What did you do to get put in prison this time?
LINCOLN: Not a whole lot man!
MICHAEL: That doesn’t work in this instance. I literally only asked you what you did to get arrested.
LINCOLN: I’ve lost track at this point.
MICHAEL: Let me float this by you. Something I’ve been thinking about lately: The Ultimate Prison Break.
LINCOLN: My man, I am all ears.
MICHAEL: The Ultimate Prison Break is you stay out of prison by not doing anything that could or would potentially get you put in prison and I never have to break you out again.
LINCOLN: Hmmmm… I’m not sure.
MICHAEL: No, hear me out. It’s fool proof. It’s like the king of all prison breaks.
LINCOLN: I’ll think about it.
MICHAEL: Good. You’ve got plenty of time to think because I’m not breaking you out this time.
LINCOLN: Not a whole lot, man. I need a break from prison.
MICHAEL: I’ll talk to you later, bud.
