‘Imagined Dialogue For’ is our series by the hilarious and talented Chris Scott, of Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen fame. Next up? Chris takes a stab at guessing what happens in the Emma Watson/Tom Hanks cyber-cult thriller, The Circle.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
EAMON BAILEY (TOM HANKS): Do you like working at the Circle, Mae?
MAE HOLLAND (EMMA WATSON): I do. Very much.
EAMON: Good, good. We want to make sure everyone working at the Circle is happy and taken care of.
MAE: I really appreciate that.
EAMON: I have something else I think you’ll appreciate. A new project I’ve been working on. But it’s strictly confidential. Can I trust you?
MAE: Yes, of course. What is it?
EAMON: It’s hard to put into words. It’s going to elevate the Circle into something else. Something the world has never seen before.
MAE: Okay I’m seriously getting chills. Please show me.
EAMON: Come here.
[MAE JOINS EAMON AT HIS COMPUTER. HE OPENS A FILE]
MAE: What… is it?
EAMON: I call it… Encarta.
EAMON: Encarta. Mae, this is going to change the world.
MAE: This sounds a little familiar actually.
EAMON: No, that’s impossible. The public has not seen anything like this before. Hell, to be totally frank, I’m not even sure they’re ready for it. Not even close to ready.
MAE: I mean, is it like an encyclopedia?
EAMON: Like an encyclopedia? Yeah, Mae. It’s like an encyclopedia if you collected every single encyclopedia that’s ever existed and compiled it all onto a single disc. Do you need to take a minute to try to wrap your head around this?
MAE: No, it’s fine. This just reminds me of something that already existed, a while back. Also called Encarta.
EAMON: Hahaha, Mae, I believe you are mistaken. Not only has this not existed before, it’s so revolutionary it barely even exists now. Like I know we’re both looking at it on my computer together, but go ahead and touch the monitor.
MAE: Just touch the monitor?
EAMON: Yep. Go for it.
[MAE TOUCHES MONITOR]
EAMON: You feel that?
MAE: Glass? It’s warm and kind of static-y?
EAMON: Nope. That’s the entirety of all human knowledge, every bit of information that has ever existed, all in one computer.
MAE: But you basically just described the internet
EAMON [MOCKING]: But you basically just described the internet. Here’s a pop quiz, genius: What happens if the internet just disappears tomorrow?
MAE: I… don’t know. A lot of systems would fail. There’d be global chaos, at least for a period of time.
EAMON: Exactly. All information would vanish. That’s why it’s so important to have this all on discs that you can hold and insert into the computer yourself, in case the internet vanishes and we never see it again. How would you know anything? Like who won World War II? What was the first meal served on an airplane? Was it hot or cold? How many different types of songs are there? And so forth.
MAE: Sorry I’m just confused because this feels like a step back. There was already something called Encarta. It was a digital encyclopedia that was really big in the ‘90s. It came on CD-ROMs.
EAMON: I don’t have the slightest idea what a CD-ROM is.
MAE: Then Google it?
EAMON: What is Google? Do you mean the Circle? I can Circle it.
MAE: No, don’t. My point is–
EAMON: Another pop quiz: Why does Saturn have rings but Earth doesn’t?
MAE: I don’t know. I don’t think anybody–
EAMON: Encarta knows. Check this out: This is the 94th iteration of Encarta I’ve created. It took me nearly a hundred attempts to achieve the perfect disc encyclopedia. I’m going to call it Encarta 94.
MAE: As in Encarta 1994?
EAMON: Did you not hear what I just said.
MAE: I heard you. What I don’t understand is–
EAMON: Where do tongues come from? What happens when a person wears one rollerblade and one rollerskate and tries to roll down a hill? Which foot goes faster? If there’s really as much water as they say there is in the world, why aren’t the oceans slightly bigger? Encarta 94 knows all this and so much more.