We all show love and support a little differently.
Some of us smother our loved ones with care and affection when they’re struggling. Others offer bouts of tough love. Some of us are natural problem-solvers, while others are natural sympathizers. None of us respond in the exact same way when we discover that someone we care about needs help. But we all respond in one way or another.
Each of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types care deeply about the people in their lives—they just all have different methods of showing it. Here’s a cheat sheet of the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways in which the people in your life may be secretly telling you that they are there for you.
ESFP
Whisks you away on an adventure. Makes you remember how to laugh. Shares their deepest vulnerabilities. Accepts you completely for yours. Surprises you with flowers or a present. Listens carefully to all of your pain. Injects excitement where everything is monotone. Never stops trying to turn things around for you.
ISFJ
Cooks you dinner. Drives you home. Lends you a hand when you’re struggling. Lends their other hand to the people you love. Listens patiently. Empathizes deeply. Asks what you need and delivers it. Takes on your pain as their own. Never stops trying to make the weight that you are bearing feel lighter.
ESFJ
Shows up consistently. Makes sure you’re comfortable and fed. Tells you stories. Listens to your struggles. Connects you to the people who can help you. Calls to tell you that they’re on their way to lend a hand, whether you want one or not. Harnesses the power of a community to envelop you. Reminds you that you’re never, ever alone.
ISFP
Listens to your challenges. Empathizes deeply. Sympathizes softly. Lets you fall apart with them in one moment and then makes you howl with laughter in the next. Reminds you who you are when you’ve forgotten it. Crafts something special to let you know they’re with you. Makes themselves into your soft place to land.
ESTP
Picks out a gift that makes you laugh. Brings you outside of your head. Makes you smile in inappropriate situations. Whisks you away somewhere amazing. Keeps you sheltered when you’re aching. Tends to your day-to-day needs. Pays attention. Ensures you know that they will always be around to help you fight your battles.
ISTP
Shows up. Rearranges their plans. Injects their patience into moments of panic. Makes dire situations feel relaxed. Listens carefully. Solves your problems strategically. Works behind the scenes to make things run smoothly. Never stops trying to make your life easier, no matter how difficult it gets.
ISTJ
Takes your side. Fights for justice. Cashes in on favors that they’re owed to make your life easier. Shows up consistently. Listens intently. Drives you anywhere that you might need to go. Solves your practical problems before you become aware of their existence. Never stops fighting to keep you protected and safe.
ESTJ
Offers you a place to stay. Drives you home. Connects you with people who can help you make things happen. Makes you laugh. Delivers on their promises. Makes you feel tougher than you ever thought yourself capable of being. Shelters you with everything in them. Makes sure you know that they’re never going anywhere.
INTP
Listens carefully. Ponders deeply. Find the solutions you may not have considered and presents them with patient intention. Shows up. Makes you laugh when you least expect it. Makes sure you have the best help available. Asks you what you need and listens. Makes solving your problems their priority.
INTJ
Picks out the exact book you need. Lends their philosophies and views. Listens deeply. Analyzes holistically. Asks how you are doing and listens. Accepts your vulnerabilities. Sees your potential. Reminds you who you are when you’ve forgotten it. Checks in deliberately. Protects you fiercely. Never, ever stops trying to help you thrive.
ENTJ
Shows up quickly. Instills order. Takes control of situations when you’re flailing. Casts out doubt. Prioritizes your problems. Learns whatever must be learned to help you solve them. Offers advice. Lends both hands. Sees the strength within you that you’ve forgotten. Never, ever stops trying to help you harness it.
ENTP
Shows up. Breaks the rules for you. Lends their philosophies. Whisks away your mind. Finds relevant research and applies it unconventionally to help you. Welcomes your darkness. Shares their own. Helps you think outside the box. Restores your faith in the future. Helps you hope. Makes you laugh when you want to cry the most.
ENFP
Cancels their plans. Stays by your side. Dissects each of your problems and offers unconventional solutions. Advocates loudly. Listens intently. Shows up in your hour of need to you to shoulder the load. Accepts your atrocities. Celebrates your brilliance. Allows your darkness and your light to coexist. Explains that theirs have always coexisted too.
INFP
Sees your darkness. Follows you into it. Meets all of your demons and fears. Reminds you that they do not scare that easily. Empathizes deeply. Accepts fully. Houses all your pain inside themselves. Listens with patience. Counsels with intention. Helps you find all the versions of yourself that you had forgotten. Walks with you, hand-in-hand, out of the shadows.
ENFJ
Stays by your side. Adopts your joy. Provides the structure and strength you’re in need of, whether you request it or not. Learns your intricacies. Gets you home safe. Remains strong through your moments of weakness. Softens when you challenge them most. Listens intently. Preserves your pride patiently. Provides you with the help that you won’t ask for.
INFJ
Learns your mind like it’s a foreign language. Speaks to you using your mother tongue. Reminds you who you are when you’ve forgotten it. Offers you the strength you cannot find. Sits with you through sunshine and through the darkness. Constructs you a safe place to call home. Brings out the best in you when you cannot find it. Hears everything you’re leaving unsaid.
