Finding the perfect gift for your significant other is no small feat.
As the holidays approach, the pressure to find something that’s going to surprise and delight your partner can feel crushing. Luckily, we’re here to help you out with a hack guide to holiday shopping. Simply find your loved one’s Myers-Briggs type, identify the stage of your current relationship, and pick out the gift they’ll be raving about for the rest of the year.
INFJ
Early Relationship: A book or experience that gives them a glimpse of your inner world.
INFJs aren’t big on collecting unnecessary items, but they’re huge on getting to know their loved ones deeply. Gift your INFJ with a book you personally love, tickets to a show that moved you in a meaningful way, or a project that the two of you can work on together. Your INFJ will love that you’re letting them in on the philosophies or experiences that have shaped your own understanding of the world, and they’ll be eager to explore the new perspective.
Serious Relationship: A relaxing weekend away together.
INFJs value quality time with their loved ones incredibly highly. Gift them with a weekend away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life by booking a campsite or bed and breakfast somewhere secluded. Take the time to unwind, watch the stars, discuss your mutual interests, and get to know each other away from the normal distractions of your day-to-day lives. They’ll return feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and closer to you than ever before.
Married: A thoughtful homemade gift that affirms your love for them.
Though they’re unlikely to ask for it, INFJs appreciate words of affirmation from their loved ones immensely. Remind your INFJ spouse how much they mean to you by taking the time to craft them a handwritten letter or a series of small notes that highlight their wonderful qualities. Your INFJ will feel seen, appreciated, and incredibly grateful for the reminder of how much they’re loved.
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ENFJ
Early Relationship: A symbolic item they can keep with them.
ENFJs generally don’t want outrageous amounts of money spent on them, but they do appreciate when a gift is picked out with care and intention. Pick them up an item of jewelry or décor that is emblazoned with a symbol they find meaningful—whether it’s their zodiac sign, the latitude and longitude lines of a place that’s significant to them, or another figure that holds weight in their psyche. They’ll be delighted by the consideration you poured into picking them out a meaningful item.
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Serious Relationship: An investment in your future together.
ENFJs take their relationships incredibly seriously, and they feel comforted knowing their partners do as well. Affirm your long-term intent by gifting them with a future weekend away, an area of your place decorated to their liking, or a charitable commitment you can take on together, like sponsoring a child in both of your names. They’ll appreciate that you have one eye trained on your future together—just as they undoubtedly do.
Married: A gift that encourages their personal development.
ENFJs are self-improvement junkies, which means they need partners who enthusiastically support their growth. Gift them with a course, seminar or retreat weekend that helps them to advance toward a personal or professional goal. They’ll be thrilled at the opportunity to learn something new and deeply appreciative of your desire to support them in doing so.
INFP
Early Relationship: A gift that shows you want to get to know the whole of them.
INFPs crave deep, soulful connections with their romantic partners. In the early stages of a relationship, show them you’re invested in getting to know the real them—the one that exists beyond the mask they put on for the world. Gift them with a journal aimed at self-exploration, a poetry book you can dissect together, or a date centered around quality conversation. They’ll appreciate your gesture toward getting to know them on a deep, personal level.
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Serious Relationship: A gift that enhances their personal well-being.
INFPs place a heavy focus on their psychological well being. Feelers to the core, these types take great care to ensure they’re living in a balanced and meaningful fashion. Help them achieve that balance by gifting them with a yoga retreat, meditation course or philosophy book that shifts and enhances their world view. They’ll appreciate the care you put into finding them a gift that helps them along on the path to the person they’re becoming.
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Married: A trip to a place that’s new to both of you.
INFPs value quality time with their loved ones incredibly highly and most maintain a healthy sense of wanderlust. This year, gift them with a trip to somewhere neither of you have been. They’ll adore the opportunity to bond over exploring a new place together and appreciate the perspective they gain from leaving their life behind for a while. If money’s tight, make it a staycation. Choose a new area of your own city to explore together and treat it like a foreign landscape. You might be surprised what you uncover together!
ENFP
Early Relationship: A gift that showcases how excited you are to get to know them.
ENFPs live for the anticipation of an exciting future. Fuel that sense of excitement by writing out a bucket list of dates you want to take them on or gifting them tickets to an event you know they’re interested in attending. They’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness you’ve poured into the gesture and feel closer to you than ever as they imagine the good times you’re going to have together.
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Serious Relationship: A gift that fuels their creativity and passion.
ENFPs are deeply contemplative individuals who appreciate creative inspiration above all else. Fuel their natural creativity by gifting them with tickets to a TED talk, poetry slam or seminar that focuses on one of their niche areas of interest. They’ll adore the opportunity to learn something new and enjoy dismantling and discussing it with you after the fact.
Married: A gift that facilitates their personal growth.
ENFPs place a heavy focus on self-improvement. Facilitate their desire to learn and grow by gifting them with a retreat, course or philosophy book that expands their world view in a meaningful way. They’ll appreciate not just the gift itself, but the support you’re consequently showing for their desire for continuous improvement.
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INTP
New Relationship: An intellect-challenging game.
During the getting-to-know each other phase of a new relationship, there’s nothing more intimate to the INTP than getting a sense of how you think. Pick up an intellect-challenging game that the two of you can play together, in order to meet your INTP on their level and provide an enjoyable route to getting to know each other better.
Serious Relationship: A book that furthers their knowledge on a topic of mutual interest.
It’s no secret that INTPs are lovers of knowledge and devourers of literature. To find a book they’ll be happy to read, think of a topic you share a mutual passion for. Find them a title (or ten) that deepens their understanding of the subject and allows them to explore it from a new angle. For optimum bonding, read the same book(s) on your own and discuss what you each thought of them.
Married: A practical service or product that lessens their day-to-day stress.
When it comes to receiving gifts, INTPs often prefer practical presents over sentimental ones. Step into your INTP spouse’s shoes and consider what might make their life easier or more enjoyable on a day-to-day basis. Splurge on an upgrade of an item they use regularly (think a new keyboard, gaming system, headphones, wallet), or a service that cuts them some day-to-day slack (think cooking or maintenance). They’ll appreciate the ease your gift brings to their life on a consistent basis.
ENTP
New Relationship: A gesture showing you support their interests.
For the freedom-loving and autonomous ENTP, one of the most important aspects of a relationship is ensuring that both parties are free to continue working towards their individual projects and goals. In the early stages of a relationship, pick them up a gift that shows your support for their inventive nature—whether it’s a product that aids them en route to their professional goals or a journal that facilitates their brainstorming sessions.
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Serious Relationship: A niche they get to think they invented.
It’s difficult to pleasantly surprise an ENTP, because they err on the side of wanting complete control. Which means your best shot at pleasing them is providing a gift that allows them to surprise themselves. Give them a gift certificate to take a comedy, fitness or obscure personal development course of their choosing, They’ll pick the niche class that calls to them, and just like that, you’ll have gifted them with their latest obsession.
Married: A course, trip or activity that spices up your relationship.
If there’s anything an ENTP hates, it’s stagnancy. These types seek out dynamic, ever-evolving relationships that facilitate mutual growth. Push yourself to grow as a couple by gifting them with a weekend away to somewhere radically different than you’ve ever been, a course that forces both of you out of your comfort zone or a book that pushes you to communicate with one another in a new way. They’ll appreciate the opportunity to shake things up and grow closer to you as a result.
INTJ
Early Relationship: An intellectually stimulating date.
INTJs seek relationships that facilitate mutual intellectual challenge and growth. In the early stages of a relationship, show them that you prioritize the same by gifting them with an intriguing date you can go on together. Get them tickets to a TED talk or stimulating lecture, or provide them with a gift card for a book store where you can go together and discuss your favorite books. They’ll love the opportunity to engage their intellect and simultaneously grow your relationship through spending quality time together.
Serious Relationship: Connect them with an expert in their field.
INTJs take personal and professional development incredibly seriously. Gift them with an hour-long consultation with an expert in their field who can help them expand their understanding of a given topic. They’ll be delighted to learn more about a topic they already love, and they’ll appreciate your show of support for their personal development.
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Married: A product that creatively solves an environment stressor.
INTJs are thinkers first, doers second, and experiencers dead last. These types consider the world outside their minds to be something of a nuisance, which they navigate only out of necessity. Make their lives a little easier by picking them up a product that minimizes their day-to-day environmental stressors—whether it’s heat control, navigation assistance or cleaning. They’ll appreciate the additional time they suddenly have to focus on what really matters: their thoughts and plans.
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ENTJ
Early Relationship: An inspiring talk or event you can attend together.
ENTJs are self-improvement junkies, so it comes as no surprise that they seek out self-motivated partners. Gift them with tickets to a conference or event based on one of their niche areas of interest and suggest that you attend it together. It’ll give the two of you a plethora of new conversation topics, as well as an intellectually stimulating new experience.
Serious Relationship: A gift that promotes a balanced mindset.
ENTJs are known for hustling hard when it comes to pursuing their goals. However, many of them are known to push themselves to the point of burnout. Help your ENTJ stay healthy and balanced by gifting them a class that promotes mindfulness, whether it’s a martial arts course, a meditation retreat, or a book they can indulge in to deepen their understanding of whichever topic engages their introverted intuition. They’ll appreciate your ever-so-subtle contribution to helping them chill out, ENTJ style.
Married: An upgrade that makes their lives more efficient.
Is there a particular room in the house that the ENTJ always grumbles about? A technological device that’s been giving them trouble? Consider providing them with a renovation, upgrade or investment that makes their day-to-day lives function optimally. If there’s anything that frustrates this type, it’s things functioning inefficiently. Beat them to the chase by eliminating one of their daily annoyances before they get to it themselves.
ISFP
New Relationship: Something that brightens up their living space.
ISFPs place a keen focus on aesthetics. While their personal style may be difficult (if not impossible) to improve upon, they’re likely to appreciate additions to their living space that transform it into a brighter and more creative space. Pick up an unusual plant, an alluring piece of art or a desktop decoration that makes them think of you every time they spot it throughout the day. It’ll bring a smile to their face, and they’ll begin associating that pick-me-up feeling with you.
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Serious Relationship: A relaxing day at the beach or spa.
ISFPs enjoy being pampered, particularly by someone they love and trust. Treat them to a relaxing day at a local spa or nearby beach where their every physical need is catered to and they can temporarily leave their worries behind. They’ll appreciate the break from routine and enjoy the opportunity to indulge in a little luxury.
Married: A product that supports their latest creative endeavor
ISFPs are highly creative in nature, but they aren’t always quick to run out and buy the products that might push their creative endeavors forward. Focus on your ISFP’s preferred method of creative expression and find the latest technological gadget that would make their life as a creator easier. Alternately, enroll them in a course that will help them to further a skill they already possess. They’ll appreciate your support of their passion immensely.
ESFP
New Relationship: A gift that shows you appreciate their soulful side.
ESFPs lead with the fun, upbeat parts of their personality. They’re used to being perceived as fun-loving, but these types also have a deeply emotional, artistic streak. By showing them that you recognize those qualities in them, you’re showing them that you want to get to know the whole of them—not just the fun-loving parts they present to the world. They’ll be touched by the sentiment and encouraged to start digging deeper into your passions and interests as well.
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Serious Relationship: A getaway you can take together.
While ESFPs often appreciate partners who can offer stability, that doesn’t mean they don’t want to mix things up and keep the fun in their relationship alive. Gift them with a trip that you can take together, be it a weekend getaway or festival tickets. They’ll appreciate the break from routine and enjoy the opportunity to keep adventuring alongside you.
Married: A novelty experience you can have within your city.
ESFPs live for new experiences, but life gets hectic, and it isn’t always possible to skip town. Surprise your ESFP with an exciting new adventure they can take within the limits of their own city. Pick them up tickets to try indoor skydiving, an escape room, an unconventional show or a creative class they’ve had their eye on. They’ll be thrilled about the opportunity to switch things up and try something new as a team.
ESFJ
New Relationship: A much-deserved relaxation break.
ESFJs have a tendency to bend over backward trying to make the people around them comfortable and happy. Show them that you’re invested in doing the same for them by getting them a gift that makes them feel comfortable and pampered. Treat them to a spa day, a nice dinner or a take-home spa gift that they can appreciate whenever they have the time.
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Serious Relationship: A thoughtful household item that displays your commitment.
ESFJs take their relationships anything but lightly. These types want to know they have a future with whomever they’re dating, which is why it’s important for you to find a gift that showcases that commitment in a tangible way. Get your names engraved on a practical item they can show off to friends and loved ones or suggest you take a vacation together. These types like to know you’re taking the relationship as seriously as they are and will be thrilled by your show of commitment.
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Married: An upgrade on an item they don’t want to splurge on themselves.
ESFJs are practical spenders who budget for quality. Show them you value them by splurging on their behalf. Pick up a piece of clothing, jewelry or technology they want but won’t get for themselves. They’ll secretly adore the opportunity to show off their new gift to others and be proud to comment that you spoiled them with it.
ISFJ
New Relationship: Something that will keep you in their thoughts every day.
ISFJs are extremely sentimental, and in the early phases of a relationship, the best way to keep them hooked is to engage that sentiment. Pick them up a plant, decoration or mug you know they’ll use daily. It’ll keep you in their thoughts, and they’ll appreciate the burst of joy your gift continuously brings them when they use it.
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Serious Relationship: Something that showcases your commitment and plays on their sentimental nature.
ISFJs want to capture and remember all if the important moments in their lives. For them, looking back on memories is just as fulfilling (if not more fulfilling) than experiencing them firsthand. Pick your ISFJ partner up a journal, scrapbook or camera that indicates your ongoing desire to make new memories with them. They’ll appreciate the show of commitment and adore the opportunity to record the important moments of your lives together as they arrive.
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Married: Something that adds a predictable sense of variety to their lives.
ISFJs aren’t always big on surprises, but they enjoy adding variety to their daily routine. Pick them up a subscription service that delivers new ingredients, products or books to their doorstep regularly throughout the next year. It will give them a tiny surprise to look forward regularly, and they’ll appreciate the opportunity to try something new (within reason) each time.
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ESTP
New Relationship: A new experience you can share.
ESTPs are notorious for buying themselves exactly what they want, when they want it. This makes them difficult to buy for but easy to surprise. Get them tickets to a concert, exhibit or luxurious night out that they wouldn’t buy for themselves but will be thrilled to attend with you.
Serious Relationship: Feed them their next new project or hobby.
ESTPs enjoy tackling new projects and hobbies. Feed this interest by picking them up the tools they require to develop a new skill they’ve been wanting to build. Consider a microbrewing kit, a camera, or a month’s worth of introductory lessons on a topic they’ve always wanted to master. They’ll be thrilled to start honing a new skill in the new year.
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Married: A season’s pass to an activity they enjoy.
To the ESTP, there’s no greater gift than the opportunity to enjoy their lives fully. Pick them up a season’s pass to a physical activity they enjoy, or the gear they need to take on a new sport they’ve been interested in trying out. For these experience-based types, there’s no gift greater than the opportunity to keep exploring the world around them in an actionable way.
ISTP
New Relationship: A practical item they’ve mentioned needing.
ISTPs may be the only type out there who genuinely wants socks as a gift. Early on in a relationship, you don’t want to overwhelm this type by splurging on a major purchase. Ease into things by picking them up a book they’ve mentioned wanting to read, an item of clothing they haven’t bothered to buy for themselves or a small tech item that will make their day-to-day lives easier. They’ll appreciate you going practical instead of sentimental right off the bat.
Serious Relationship: A new piece of technology that makes their lives easier (or more fun).
If your ISTP falls into the “tech geek” category, it should be pretty easy to get them talking about which products intrigue them. If not, consider which items might make their day-to-day lives easier. From a Rumba to noise-cancelling headphones to a smart watch, ISTPs are all about optimizing their items, and a great gift is one that allows them to expedite the process.
Married: A course that encourages a side-interest.
ISTPs are known for being both tinkerers and intellectuals. Their varied interests give way to many side projects or passions that they’re usually keeping on the back-burner. Help them prioritize one of these interests by investing in a course they can take to further their knowledge in a particular area. Consider an online coding course, motorcycle lessons or a university course in a topic they’ve always shown an interest in.
ESTJ
New Relationship: Tickets to a structured event you can attend together.
ESTJs enjoy learning new things in an interactive manner. Pick up tickets for a wine tasting tour, museum exhibit, or show that will peak their interest. Make a date night out of it, and it will give you both something to bond over. Your ESTJ will appreciate your initiative in sourcing new activities they might enjoy, and you’ll likely both learn something to boot!
Serious Relationship: An accessory that serves as a status symbol.
ESTJs dress to impress. They have clean-cut wardrobes and rarely take risks with their appearance, which is why they enjoy having a few high quality accessories they can pull out to assert their status. Pick out a high quality watch, set of earrings or cufflinks for the ESTJ in your life and they’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness in blending practicality with style.
Married: Upgraded household or kitchen tools.
It may not be the most sentimental gift on the market, but the ESTJ appreciates high-quality goods, and they likely have a list of items that could stand to be upgraded around the house. Ask your ESTJ for home improvement ideas prior to the holidays, then make one of their suggestions a reality as a pleasant surprise.
ISTJ
New Relationship: A high quality dining experience.
ISTJs are notorious for purchasing exactly what they need, as they need it, and to their exact specifications. Sidestep this tendency by treating them to a night at a fancy restaurant, where they can pick out their own food and drink, on you. Bonus points if it’s an upscale or niche joint that they’ve wanted to try out but haven’t been willing to splurge on. They’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gesture and enjoy the opportunity to spend quality time with you.
Serious Relationship: An upgrade on an appliance they regularly use.
ISTJs pride themselves on having high-quality items that stand the test of time. Treat them to an upgrade on an existing item you know they use regularly. If they’re a health nut, pick up a high quality blender or juicer. If they’re a hiking enthusiast, get them a new pair of boots. ISTJs appreciate quality, and they’ll appreciate you making it a priority.
Married: An upgrade on a tech product they love.
ISTJs are known for being traditional, but they’re often open to tech products that promise to make their lives easier (or more enjoyable). Upgrade them to a Smart TV, the latest Macbook or even a Smart Home device that they can use to optimize their daily lives. They’ll enjoy getting to know their new device, and they’ll appreciate the time and stress that it saves them down the line.
Heidi Priebe is a personality psychology writer who focuses primarily on the Jung-Myers model of psychological type. She is the author of five books, including The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide and How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Personality Type. Follow her on Facebook @HeidiPrebe or argue with her on Twitter @HeidiPriebe1
