Sometimes we just need a bit of guidance along our path. Is there something going on in your life that you don’t know how to deal with? As a Certified Intuitive Life Coach, I help people understand why things happen the way they do in life and provide the perspective to make change. Got a question of your own? Email donnalynn@observer.com.
This week, we’re talking about starting a new life as a college graduate. It’s time to begin a new chapter—to write a new story for yourself. So who and what do you want to be? The sky is the limit, you just need the tools to yourself to get there.
I’m graduating this month with a degree in Poly Sci, but I just can’t get my head around law school right now or ever. My parents are disappointed; they wanted me to have something secure and stable but I want to create some type of social impact platform. In all honesty, I have no idea how to start. Is it stupid to think that, with no experience at all, I can become an entrepreneur?
It’s not stupid. It’s actually the wisest decision anyone could ever make. In terms of building one’s career, you really want to look at what your passion is because your passion is your purpose. But we’ve come through generations of conditioning where we’ve been told your purpose is your job, not your passion.
Prior generations worked within the model of the “American dream,” which promised that if you work hard, keep your head down and draw a steady paycheck everything will work out. Our parents and grandparents taught us to just take a job for the money and security, confirming that “no one does work they like; you do what you have to do to get by and provide for your family.”
But things are different these days. Millennials want to live the best life they can and they are rewriting that paradigm to focus not only on surviving, but thriving. They are not content to sit by and take a meaningless job when they have deep dreams of revolutionizing the system.
I applaud you for having the passion to make change. Now just make sure you do the research and align yourself with others who are working towards a similar end. Collaboration will be key for you. But also be realistic, be practical and give yourself the tools you need to build this enterprise.
You don’t need experience to create something new; you just need to see things from a new perspective. You can create anything you want in life, you just need to have the passion for it and believe in yourself. Your parents are not blocking you. This is your game and you innately know how to win it. If you don’t start with a dream, how will you ever end up realizing it?
I’m not great at interviewing. I’m smart, but I’ve been told that I lack social skills. I’m an engineer, but it’s not like I’m graduating from MIT. Interviewers are looking for the top of the top and I just can’t pull off the charm that I need to compensate for the fact that I’m coming out of a mid-tier school. How can someone like me compete with Ivy League?
You have a great story going, but any time you’re ready to rewrite it would be a great time.
It’s not about competing with Ivy League, it’s about competing with yourself. What’s the story you are telling yourself? Because the story you tell yourself becomes the story of your life. You’ve already decided that you are some socially-inept, less-than-qualified engineering grad coming out of a non-competitive school. You haven’t given yourself any options for success here, so there will most likely be no success for you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just because something may seem true to you, doesn’t mean it has to become your truth. You are in control of what becomes real for you. If your story isn’t working for you, you can rewrite it to become anything you want it to be.
You are the author of your life and you are about to begin a new chapter. So why not write the chapter you really want to live and stop rereading the last one? Clearly those self-defeating thoughts have not served you in the past; don’t pack up that history and bring it with you into this new phase.
You are the only one in the way of yourself. You’re not at a disadvantage here; you’ve just told yourself that you are. Do you want a better future? Do you want better career options? Write a better story for yourself and live that story. This is who you should be in that interview room. People will accept the story you tell about yourself—what will yours be?
I’ve been on the five-year plan, but I’m finally graduating. Just like I was reluctant to get through school, I am very reluctant to pick a career because I don’t want to get stuck in something I hate. How can I know I’m making the right choice with my career?
You can’t know you are making the “right choice,” but it helps to know that there are no “wrong choices” in life—there are only “different choices.” Finding yourself is a life-long journey and it starts by taking one step. It’s not about trying to make the “right choice,” it’s just about making one choice.
The only trap you want to avoid is “sitting it out on the bench.” If you are reluctant to make a decision because you don’t want to make a mistake, you are not getting into the game of your life. Sitting it out on the bench will assure that you never score that home run.
But if you could just get up off that bench and take one step—one step in any direction—then you are using your free will to build your career. Once in motion, the universe can conspire with you to bring opportunities that match your skills and desires. But you must first be in motion.
The only wrong choice you can ever make is to not make one. Any decision is valid because, from that, new opportunities arise. All we have in life are our choices, if you make one that doesn’t feel good, you simply choose again. Life is a game of choices. You don’t have a finite amount, so you can never be stuck in your life.
