That guy from The Matrix said it best: “Human beings are a disease.” True! This year offered plenty of evidence, particularly on Twitter. But for every 100,000 debased retweets and comment threads that make you wonder how it all went so wrong for us as a civilization, there’s one or two that make you want to pat us on the back. Here are a few of the 2018 Twitter threads that were funny enough to keep the universe at bay, even if only for a few moments.
What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to a celebrity?
Simple execution, incredible payoff. Every one of us who’s come into contact with a famous person has probably said something dorky out of nervousness. For example, I once got too stoned before a Zadie Smith book signing and asked for her signature on Children of the Frost by Jack London, a novel she obviously did not write (I thought that Jack London was British, like Zadie). The thread in and of itself is glorious (please don’t forget to watch the accompanying video of the moment in question) but the best material related to this tweet can be found when you search for the manual retweets. Observe:
“Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.”
The greatness of this thread taps into a deeply primal desire everyone who’s ever worked in an office will recognize: the desire to see your least favorite coworker get what’s coming to them. Whether it’s the lady who always steals your stapler or the boss who insists on wearing flip flops in winter, you’ve fantasized about the target of your vitriol getting called out over and over again. In this thread, that’s exactly what happens (but not without a few hysterical plot twists).
Describe yourself like a male author would.
Women have always been funnier than men and that is simply a fact.
The Flat Earth Society rejects YouTube star Logan Paul
When the most unreasonable people on Earth (which is round) want absolutely nothing to do with you, maybe it’s time to re-examine your priorities and consider logging off forever and perhaps moving to the woods to live a modest existence among the bears and squirrels?
The Most Expensive Twitter Joke of All Time?
Perhaps the most iconic blunder of the year: Tesla CEO Elon Musk’s attempt to impress his girlfriend, Grimes, by making a statement about his company that would lead to him being sued and eventually stepping down as chairman of said company. Also, Musk cried on TV about it.
The Twitter Thread to End All Twitter Threads that Doubles As a Christmas Movie
The wonderful Cole Escola is a comedian, writer and truly excellent actor whose sketches and bits have landed him in the press before, but his Twitter thread about the inherent narcissism, insecurity and mild mania necessary to rattle off a Twitter thread on any subject is by far the funniest content of the year. It’s a meta-commentary on threads in the form of a thread; huzzah!