Just when you thought Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t possibly get any Goop-ier, the lifestyle guru and jade egg-enthusiast released a candle on her site that is eloquently named, “This Smells Like My Vagina.” In a less than shocking turn of events, the Internet-sphere had a true field day with the $75 votive.
Now, if you’re wondering what, exactly, this bougie smells like, there’s a lovely description on the website that informs the world it’s a mix of geranium, citrusy bergamot, cedar, Damask rose and ambrette, which apparently reminds Paltrow of “fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.” It’s a collab between Heretic and Goop.
While the accuracy of the candle’s name and the actual fragrance is still being hotly debated, that hasn’t stopped Paltrow from managing to sell out of this scent. Yes, Paltrow was able to find an indeterminable number of people who were not able to get enough of a candle that she decided smells like a vagina, which is honestly extremely impressive.
If you weren’t able to scoop up your own vagina candle before it sold out, and are anxiously awaiting the restock, don’t fret! There are countless other, equally Goop-y products sold on the website that will tide you over in the meantime. These are our top five picks to keep you going until the aforementioned candle comes back in stock January 25.
Even though we haven’t quite mastered meditation, we’re all for it, and it’s also perfectly on brand for Goop. We were not, however, aware that there was such a thing as a Meditation Pillow Set until we located this two-piece, rose-colored pillow set that promises to help with pelvic and spinal support. Oh, and it’s filled with buckwheat hulls, millet hulls and dried lavender. Hopefully, you can reach such inner peace with this set that you won’t mind the $259 you doled out to achieve peak wellness.
There’s no shortage of pricey sex toy-related objects on Goop, but never forget about this apparently very well known vibrator/necklace combination, because why should jewelry just be decorative? Goop promises that this bullet-shaped necklace is “known for being quiet” and also waterproof. Oh, and you can charge it through a USB port, because tech!
Sure, you might be keeping hydrated during the day, but does your water bottle have a crystal in it? This $84 glass bottle is fitted with an amethyst, for spiritual support! Also, we want this.
Stay in the Goop mood with this 52-card deck, for true happiness. Each card has a “mindfulness practice to cultivate good thoughts,” all courtesy of professional psychologist Deepika Chopra.
Yes, essential oils really are taking over the world, and leave it to Gwyneth to this blend of grapeseed, jojoba, tea tree and clary sage seed oil for pubic hair.