In 1977’s Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi promises Han Solo 17,000 credits for bringing Luke Skywalker, R2D2, C-3PO and himself to Alderaan. Han is ecstatic, telling Chewbacca this will allow them to pay off Jabba the Hutt. Of course, here in the real world, we have no idea how much 17,000 credits really is. But it does seem suspiciously less expensive to cover a debt with one of the galaxy’s most feared gangsters than visit Walt Disney World’s Galactic Starcruiser Star Wars hotel.
Opening in the spring, the two-day Star Wars experience is designed to immerse patrons directly into the movies via Rise of the Resistance at Disneyland and the Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge lands. The catch? It’ll cost between $4,000 and $6,000 to actually visit a galaxy far, far away. That’s got to be a lot of credits.
“Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser is a revolutionary new 2-night experience where you are the hero,” according to Walt Disney World’s website. “You and your group will embark on a first-of-its-kind Star Wars adventure that’s your own. It’s the most immersive Star Wars story ever created — one where you live a bespoke experience and journey further into a Star Wars adventure than you ever dreamed possible.”
What are you actually getting for your hard-earned space bucks? Conceptually, the experience is designed to model a luxury space cruise. The windows even look out into space — or a nifty aesthetic meant to trick you into thinking you’re in space. There are lightsaber experiences, various Star Wars characters walking around that you can interact with, and all food and non-alcoholic beverages are included. On paper, it sounds fun, particularly for die-hard Star Wars supporters looking to cannonball into the deep end of fandom. But a two-guest two-night stay in a studio still runs you $4,809 and you don’t even get to blow up a Death Star.
If you add a child to the equation, prices hike to $5,299 for the same room. If there’s a third adult added, it costs $5,999. If you want to spring for a suite, well, you better be have Succession money in the bank. Overall, it’s not exactly accessible to average apprentice moisture farmer. But should we really be surprised? The same company charges $100 for a family-sized sandwich at Avengers Campus.
“Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced: part live immersive theater, part themed environment, part culinary extravaganza, part real-life role-playing game — and yet so much more,” the website reads.
Deep breath. Now say it with me: corporations are not our friends. May the Force be with you!