The latest episode of The Righteous Gemstones, “Never Avenge Yourselves, But Leave It to the Wrath of God,” is the most eventful in weeks, bringing multiple subplots to a boil and ending with a game-changing climax. At the same time, it’s also a return to the lighter, goofier tone of the beginning of the season—that is, right until the moment it isn’t.
“Never Avenge Yourself…” picks up immediately where we left off before the “Interlude II” flashback, with a mysterious motorcycle gang buffeting a Gemstone party bus with machine gun fire. After the “cycle ninjas” have spent all their ammo, they mount their bikes and begin their escape. Jesse (Danny McBride) emerges quickly from his cover inside the bus and returns fire with a pistol, but can’t land a hit. But, as you’ll likely recall from last season, Amber (Cassidy Freeman) is a crack shot and disables one of the bikes with her first round. The bikers are forced to collect their fallen comrade and flee the scene. Amber relishes her triumph, but the incident leaves Jesse feeling impotent.
Afterwards, the family gathers to discuss the incident with the police, who doubt the cycle ninjas could be professional assassins on the grounds that they didn’t so much as wound their targets. (A fair point.) Judy (Edi Patterson) also points out that Jesse and Amber “aren’t important enough to be assassinated.” No one present seems to recall that the party bus Jesse and Amber took home from BJ’s baptism had been reserved for Eli (John Goodman), not for them, and that Eli was likely the intended target of the hit. Jesse suspects that Junior (Eric Roberts) is behind the attack and suggests taking the fight back to him, but Eli insists that Jesse and the rest of the family hunker down on the compound while he sorts the situation out on his own.
For Judy, being confined to her home means being forced to spend time with Tiffany (Valyn Hall), who Baby Billy left stranded at the baptism. Tiffany refuses to accept that Baby Billy could have deliberately abandoned her and their unborn child, and is afraid that something terrible has happened to him. Judy’s first instinct is to mock her naivety and vulnerability and return to signing a pile of glossy 8x10s with the inscription “Stay Horny.” But, after being challenged by Eli for her narcissism, Judy decides to support Tiffany by gently revealing Baby Billy’s past as a deadbeat dad. We learn that while Baby Billy never saw Harmon again after leaving him and Gloria at the mall in the Christmas of 1993, Eli and Aimee-Leigh continued to support him financially. Valyn Hall has a deft handle on Tiffany, a broad comedic stereotype who she makes so likable and pitiable that even the self-absorbed Judy has to acknowledge her.
Meanwhile, Kelvin (Adam Devine) has retreated to his corner of the compound, nursing two broken thumbs courtesy of Eli “The Maniac Kid” Gemstone. While he can’t be blamed for his father’s violent outburst, much of Kelvin’s mess is of his own making. He’s created a cult that worships strength, then exposed his own weakness; it’s no wonder that his God Squad no longer respects him. His small army of muscle men now runs wild, moving in and out of Kelvin’s house at will and leaving motorcycle skid marks on his tennis court. Only his ever-faithful servant Keefe (Tony Cavalero) still supports him, encouraging him to assert his physical and mental prowess to the men and reclaim his throne. Like so many moments between the pair, the scene of Keefe kneeling before Kelvin to help him step into his underpants is soaked in an eroticism that is obvious to everyone but Kelvin. Kelvin reads as entirely asexual and aromantic, while Keefe’s devotion to him goes well beyond either impulse and into the realm of religious awe. It’s a dynamic that can remain ripe for comedy up until the moment either of them acknowledges it.
Kelvin finds himself with a full-on coup on his bandaged hands when Torsten (Brock O’Hurn), the biggest and strongest of the God Squad, declares that he should be their new leader. Torsten has the support of the rest of the men, and why shouldn’t he, as he’s the model of the standards by which Kelvin’s trained them to judge their proximity to God. Kelvin challenges him to “bear the cross,” a ritualistic test of strength established earlier in the season, but is in hot
BJ (Tim Baltz) pays Eli a visit at his office to apologize for his role in sparking the baptism brawl, and to share his feelings on the family’s emotional dysfunction. Eli has always dismissed BJ as a weak-willed suck-up, but when was the last time any member of his family came to see him without making a selfish demand? BJ only wants to help the family heal, to make his wife happy and his father-in-law proud. Eli rewards BJ with a handshake, a gesture that moves BJ to tears. But when Eli approaches Kelvin with this same vulnerability, Kelvin rejects his apology. Kelvin’s bitterness over his own unfulfilled potential feels more potent now that we’ve seen evidence of his genius in “Interlude II,” and it’s true that he’s worked much harder than his siblings to make something of himself. Kelvin refuses to even meet Eli’s gaze as he sends him away, something he may soon come to regret.
Hoping to reclaim his masculine pride, Jesse leads the male half of his prayer group on a mission of revenge against Junior. Armed with “exact scientific replicas” of the sling with which David slew Goliath, Jesse’s army attempts to intimidate Junior outside a wrestling event at Memphis VFW, hurling rocks and debris at him with their ancient weapons. Junior seems more confused than intimidated by Jesse’s bizarre, verbose ultimatum, but he agrees to stay away from the Gemstones. Jesse stands tall, though it’s unlikely he’s accomplished anything.
That same night, Eli is driving alone and is pursued by the cycle ninjas, who riddle his Cadillac with bullets. This time, they unquestionably hit their target; Eli is shot at least three times in his chest and shoulders. Eli loses consciousness behind the wheel, coming to a rolling stop as his car horn echoes through the empty streets. (The haunting sound of the horn plays over the back half of the credits after the Bachelors’ version of “Faraway Places” fades away.) Positioning this critical dramatic twist at the tail end of a joke-filled episode is a classic Gemstones move, predictable only in hindsight. Is this the end of Eli Gemstone? Will this moment of crisis unify the fractured family into action? Whether next week’s episode dives headlong into the emotional fallout of this event or twists it into more goofy posturing between the Gemstone kids is a win-win proposition for the audience, as these storytellers are equally deft at either tone.
