Jessica Lange was discovered in 1976 in the oversized mitt of King Kong, pretty damn distressed but pretty, and—surprise! surprise!—has spent the next 40 years harvesting film-acting hardware. The loot to date includes two Oscars, three Emmys, five Golden Globes and a Screen Actors Guild Award. Her stage prizes are skimpier—she holds out for masterpieces and has only done three on Broadway—but currently she’s sweeping through this season’s contests like Amanda Wingfield at the cotillion.

So on this Memorial Day, we present a tribute to the unloved plays and musicals which, for better or worse, didn't click with audiences and closed early