A Millennial Reviews: ‘The West Wing’ Is a Donald Trump Presidency With Better Hair
You ever stare up at the moon and wonder if you and Donald Trump are both watching The West Wing on Netflix at the same time?
Millennial reviews
A Millennial Reviews: The Lost Bernie Sanders Docu-Series, ‘Welcome Back Kotter’
The other day I was in my local neighborhood bar, Bar Goatsé in North Williamsburg which is in Queens, reading two different Huffington post articles by the same author that contradict each other because it’s important to get BOTH sides of the story. I was enjoying a Starbucks coffee which I had poured into a local coffee shop’s coffee cup, spiked with Fernet Branca, and then brought into the bar illegally: a drink I invented called the ABC’S LOST Island Iced Tea because it does NOT end well. Anyways I was sitting at the bar with my artisanal seltzer and my local arugula and my craft baby, Amaro (we named her after our favorite Instagram filter), minding my own business when the baby needed to be changed. So I did what any responsible parent would do, I got up and took him to the bathroom, but it was locked so I had to bang on the door a bit and eventually one of those 27 year old guys that somehow look like they’re in 1970s Thin Lizzy walked out followed by 3 similarly dressed young women. I couldn’t believe it. I was like, “hey man, this is a family bar!” Which is a thing I’ve I have decided because I accidentally started a family but I still want to go to dive bars. He responded by apologizing and buying a round of shots, which was so offensive. I can’t do shots! I’m a father! I’m out with my baby! I’m just trying to hang out in my local neighborhood haunt without paying for anything and these jerks are trying to get me drunk. I picked up my satchel of drum tobacco, called them all hipsters, and left.
A Millennial Reviews: ‘The Andy Griffith Show’ Is Basically ‘Making a Murderer’
You know when you go to Chuck E Cheese to get wasted on three dollar glasses of tap-wine because you don’t technically have to tip there, but you end up spending your entire SomeECards internship stipend because you have no self control, and then when it comes time to eat you have to buy groceries instead of ordering from Seamless so you go to the weird Greenpoint Ukrainian dollar store instead of Whole Foods and instead of getting Annie’s Homegrown Nine Dollar Mac and Cheese you have to buy something called Олександра’s Devastating Twenty Nine Cent Turnip Brine of the Blighted Dead? That can happen with television, too.
